If I believe you

2 // renew

Silence is such a loud thing. It speaks so much though at the same time it says nothing. We sit cross legged across from one another, occasionally glancing at each other but mostly we focus on whats off the balcony or our hands. We've probably been sat here for an hour by now. Nothing has been spoken since 'hi'.

He looks tired, a bit sick of Im honest. But still as beautiful as ever. His face so poetically handsome, with a scruff and bags under his beautiful eyes. His hair is tied back, and just thinking about how nice he looks makes my heart warm.

I decide making some tea may loosen the extreme tension that has developed between us, so I slowly stand. As I fully stand and stretch a bit he looks up at me questioningly.

"Im going to make some tea." I say quietly as he nods I walk in through the door.

I walk to the kitchen and start the kettle. I boost myself up onto the counter and sit next to the stove. I look down to the floor and notice a pair of men's underwear. How classy. Must've been from whoever was over last.

Matty enters the kitchen before I have a chance to jump down and move them. I look nervously at him, and I think he notices since his brow furrows a bit.

He looks down and I'm guessing he eyes the pair of boxers because he begins laughing hysterically, making me nervously giggle.

"Whats so funny?" I say sweetly.

"Are these yours, love?" He says kicking at the underwear.

"Well, no." I run a hand through my hair. "But I-"

He cuts me off before I can ramble about some complete bullshit.

"Don't worry about it. It would surprise me if you didn't." He shrugs and chuckles a bit more.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" What does he mean? He expects me to sleep around?

"It means we weren't together, you're a grown up you can fuck who ever you want. Don't mind me." He sounds sincere but it still hurts, though it shouldn't.

I hop down from the counter and walk over to him pinning him against the counter.

"Really? 'I can fuck whoever I want?' Is that why the one time I fuck up you just fuck me over?" I step back and swipe my cheeks to rid of the tears. "Not even a goodbye? You didn't answer any of my calls, but you call me and Im expected to see you? Im sorry Matthew the world doesn't fucking revolve around you." Im basically screaming at this point as he looks like he's been brutally wounded.

"You fucked my best mate. You tried to kill yourself. You told me that I didn't really love you. You acted like you were okay, but you weren't. Fuck, you still aren't. I didn't answer your calls because it hurt Juliette, stop acting like your the only on thats fucking hurting. You fucked George, and lied to me for weeks." He shouts back, tears obvious in his eyes.

I think back to what I saw while keeping up with him on the Internet, and I decided now would be the only chance to mention it.

"Who the fuck is Gabriella?" I mumble looking down at my hands, then lift my head to see his face drop completely. Tears begin falling harder onto my cheeks as his mind seems to scramble.

He tries to keep his composure, but I can see right through him.

"Shes a friend." He says as if I were a small child.

"Bull shit. May I remind you incase your suffering from memory loss" I say in a tone mocking what he just did to me, "you began commenting on her photos while we were together. So please, don't pull the 'pity me, my girlfriend cheated on me' card."

His eyes water a bit more and a tear falls. I reach to his face and wipe his cheek softly, it feels nice to touch his skin.

"I thought you slept with Gemma that day, George just happened to comfort me. I felt safe with him, like he wouldn't hurt me. But after I felt so guilty I hated myself." I sob and he steps closer to me.

"Im so sorry." He whispers and presses his forehead to mine.

"You shouldn't be the one to apologize." I whisper back.

"Yes I should. Ive been so shit to you, I left while we were in Virginia, I left you because Gemma needed me, and I left you because you had a moment of weakness. I keep running, and im sorry." He puts his hand on my face and wipes my cheeks.

"Its never going to be back to the way it was." I shake my head.

"I don't want it to be. You were miserable, I was worried. We were shit." He nods. "I want us to start again."

I smile a bit.

"Okay." I step backwards and hold my hand out. "Hi I'm Juliette, but only you can call me J."

He takes my hand and shakes it as he says "Hello, I'm Matthew but I prefer Matty."

--
Yikes, idk how I'm feeling about this so far.