Teenage Advice

Going All The Way

Hey! So i've been trying to find someone to go to for anonymous advice... I found your book, read it, and decided that you seemed like a wonderful person to turn to.

So i have this nearly 6 month strong long distance relationship with a boy whom i met almost two years ago at church camp. He lives 120+ miles north of where i do. We've met up four times over our entire relationship. Nothing crucial happened on the first meet up. Over the second, we kissed. Over the third, we went a little further than that. Over the fourth, we went a little further than that. I'm not really supposed to tell anyone because we could get in a whole lot of trouble. But as most girls know, "anyone" does not include your closest friends. So they keep teasing me about how the only thing left for me to do is lose my v irginity to him.  And honestly in today's society i don't think that would be much of a problem. He also at one point when we were messing around, said that he would gladly f*** me and i just laughed bc i didn't know what to say. I don't know whether he was joking or not but my friends think he's serious. I'm not going to flat out ask whether or not he meant that. So i'm concerned that if he tries i'll either go beyond my own limits because i'm bad at saying no to people or mess something up. I'd have no idea what i'm doing! This is my first relationship ever. -Awkward child

P.S.   So my boyfriend's birthday and valentines day are both next month and i have no idea what to get him or how to ask about stuff he might want because if i ask and go by his suggestions then he'll basically know what he's getting.

Dear Awkward Child,

I think you should do what you're comfortable with. I also think you should wait to go all the way, but that's because I'm a religious person and I believe that people should stay pure until marriage. If you aren't comfortable with him saying things like " I would gladly f*** you," then you need to tell him. This is also your first relationship, you should take things slow, and go at things your pace. Telling your boyfriend that you're not ready can also help him see that maybe he is taking things too far. If you think he's joking, but you're unsure, you need to clarify with him what his intentions are. That way, if you aren't ready to go all the way, you can be more cautious.

With the Valentine's Day and birthday... I think you should ask him what his top 5 things he wants are. Then pick the two that are in your price range. That way he gets something he wants and you don't feel like he knows his exact gift. If you don't want him knowing at all, just go by what you think/know he likes and maybe throw in a surprise present.

Remember don't do something you might regret, lots of love!

- Rose x