April 1st 1988
My first time back in Boise, Idaho in six months. It wasn't until I stepped off the plane and saw the familiar land-scape that I realised just how much I missed my life here. Life was great in Gainesville, don't get me wrong, but here was so easy and calm, this life here never involved River, who was still a source of constant confusion in my life, but here for 1 week I could forget about everything back in Gainesville and savour my time back here in Boise.
In the past few weeks, things between myself and Franco had really been progressing, if things kept going the way they were, it wouldn't be long until I was calling him my boyfriend. Franco was easy, and he did make me happy, we just had to work at it a bit more, well on my side I did. With River, it was simple, until it all go horribly complicated, I hadn't spoke or seen him since he arrived outside my house, and after a few words sped off in his car. From Rain, I heard that he went out and joined Martha on her film set for a couple of weeks, and just yesterday she told me that he had asked about me, and asked if I had anything I wanted her to repeat back to River, all I said was, “If River really wants to speak to me, he would get in touch himself”, to which she agreed was right, and even said that she thinks River will, he just doesn't want to annoy me in any way.
I have come back to Boise, with my parents, brother and sister, we would be staying with my grandparents for the week. The occasion of coming back was due to my grandparents 50th anniversary party which would be taking place in a couple of days. 50 years with one person, I could barely manage 50 days with the person that I thought I could reach 50 years with. Once I had settled in at my grandparents, who both asked questions about River, and showed sadness once I told them, that me and River didn't exist like that any more, I left the house to go and visit two of my best friends back in Boise.
Jessica and Savannah had been my best friends ever since I was 3 years old, we had managed to grow up together, without any big fall-outs which is quite an achievement in itself. I had called up Jessica's Mom and asked her to arrange for Jessica and Savannah to be in the same place this evening, so I could surprise them. She had arranged for Savannah to come round for dinner at their house, so I was on my way over to Jessica's now to see two of best friends. I arrived just before 6pm and just as I was about to knock on the front door, Jessica's Mom, Annie answered the door, and greeted me with a hug. “They are both in the back, they will love this”, she whispered as she ushered me through the house, I took a deep breath and stepped back outside into the backyard where they were sat. “Oh my god”, Jessica screamed as she jumped up first and started running towards me, followed by Savannah. We all stood for a minute or so just hugging before we took a seat on around the table. “I can't believe it, you should of told us”, Savannah smiled as we sat down. “I wanted it to be a surprise”, I smiled back. “It's the best surprise”, Jessica finished. We immediately started talking about everything that has been going on, it was like I had never even left in the first place.
“So Autumn, we have been waiting to ask you all about River Phoenix?”, Savannah smiled at me, looking on in anticipation. “What is it you wanted to know?”, I laughed softly looking between the both of them. “Are you actually going out?”, Savannah asked, while Jessica sat back and looked between us both. I shook my head slowly before I answered, “Not anymore, no”. “It's so crazy you were though, he's so hot”, she smiled at me. “Yeah, he's a great person”, I smiled back. “Do you still talk to him?”, I didn't know how to answer this, “Sometimes”. “So jealous”, Savannah smiled as the questioning when on for about another half hour, she wanted to know what exactly when on, and what he was really like.
Savannah got picked up around 8.30pm as she had running practice meet, Jessica was now walking me to the front, where my Granddad was sat in his car ready to pick me up. “I think Savannah is a fan of River's”, Jessica laughed as we reached the front. “She is isn't she, imagine she ever met him”, I laughed. “She'd pass out”, Jessica laughed. “Are you both coming to the party?”, I asked. Jessica smile answered my question before she even spoke, “Definitely”. “Good, I'll call you in the morning”, I smiled, as I gave her a hug and walked over to where my Granddad was parked.
The day of the party finally arrived. The past few days had flown by, I've practically spent the whole time with Jessica and Savannah, we were all round my Grandparents at the moment getting ready for tonight. For tonight, I had bought a maxi dark green dress, which was strapless, but was teaming it with a long gold necklace, that had a small peace sign attached to it. Music was playing in the background as we were getting ready, the Red Hot Chili Peppers suddenly started up and they always reminded me of River, which led me thinking about Rain who had called yesterday. I missed Rain, she was truly best friend of mine, we just spoke about general things and made some plans for when I get back, she didn't mention River at all, which was weird. Well maybe it wasn't, me and River haven't had contact for a month now, maybe it was definitely completely over now.
An hour, we were all stood in a local hotel back gardens, which had all been done up for my Grandparents anniversary. People kept streaming in, it was so nice to see old faces, faces that I had grown up with, they all had questions about Gainesville and school. I was now sat with Jessica and Savannah having some food, it was a couple of hours into the party, and it was at the stage where the music had begun and people were dancing. “You looking forward to going back?”, Jessica asked, as we were all eating. “A little, I just wish you guys lived out there”, I smiled looking between them both. “You both definitely have to come over and visit”. They both smiled, “Definitely, we will plan it for as soon as we finish school”, Jessica smiled. “You have a whole other life in Gainesville don't you”, Savannah smiled. I shrugged back at her, “Not really, it's not that exciting”. “You need River back”, Savannah smiled, to which I shook my head. “That won't be happening”. “Your family loves him, your Nana was talking to me about him earlier on, apparently you looked perfect together”. “Well there's gotta be more than just looking good together, I guess”, I smiled softly back at her. “From what I heard, you were perfect in every way together”. I didn't know what to say so I just shrugged and started to finish off my food.
20 minutes later we were still sat round the table, when my Granddad came over and tapped me on the shoulder, “Can I have this dance?”, he smiled as he picked my hand up in his. “Of course”, I smiled back, as I stood up and followed his lead onto the dance floor. We started to dance as the song “Suspicious Minds” by Elvis Presley started. We simply swayed throughout the song, as the song ended, we pulled apart and I wanted to dance again with him, just to one more song, “One more?”, I asked. “I would say yes, but I think there may be someone here that wants to dance with you more”, he smiled down at me. Before I could ask him what he was going on about, he bent down and whispered in my ear, “Look behind you”. I instantly turned to see who it was, and there he was, River. He was stood there in a suit, something I had never seen him in before, he stood there with a smile on his face. I looked behind me and gave my Granddad a kiss on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you”, before making my way over to River. His arms were open ready for me to step into, “Will you join me for a dance?”, he smiled, as I nodded and took his hand in mine. “Make You Feel My Love”, by Bob Dylan started to play as we started to dance, as I rested my head on his shoulder. This is crazy, he always appeared when you least expected it, but to feel him on me right now was the best feeling in the world, I had to admit it.
“How did you know I was here?”, I smiled, as 10 minutes later after River had his hello to everyone, we were sat down on a table. “Rain”, he smiled back. “Pretty obvious that wasn't it”, I laughed softly. “I hope you don't mind me turning up like this”, he smiled shyly as he looked down at his hands, I reached over and placed my hands over his, “Not at all, but I gotta ask why? Since how we left it last time”. He looked up to meet my eyes, “I've had time to think everything through”. I didn't say anything, I wanted him to continue, “You're are the most fascinating, amazing person I have ever met, and what I feel for you, no-one will come close to, but …......I need to try and make a go of it with Martha, just so I know.....I came here to see....”. “You want me to wait for you, incase it doesn't work out with Martha......you don't want me to try anything with Franco?”, I asked, feeling myself getting angry. “I want you to do whatever makes you happy”, he answered, looking me straight in the eyes. Just at that moment, tears started to fall down my cheeks and he reached over and brushed them softly with his fingers, “I'm here, Autumn......always”. I didn't say anything back to him, I just simply reached over and held his face in my hands before I pressed my lips to his, I needed this to move on and realise River wasn't mine, I didn't even know if he ever would be.
Franco was what I needed, right now and I intend to get him.
