Diary of a Non-Binary

Part Two

There were many abnormalities about me. A few years prior to this last experience, I had come out to my family and my school that I was a lesbian, but by now, I know that I'm not a lesbian, but I just like girls. Myself not being a girl, I can't call myself that. I have also been an atheist for a long time, I have never gone to church regularly, and I call myself a feminist/equalist. I've never gotten why people hate feminists so much, because they actually help the community as a whole. It's the feminazis that ruin the image for everyone claiming that men are all evil rapists or something or other.

Locker rooms and bathrooms are a nightmare. Because I still look like a girl, I go into the girl's rooms, but it never feels completely right. I've been wanting to go into the boy's bathrooms sometimes, just because I should be able to go into either one, but I know I would get stared at and attacked if I go into there. Maybe I could try it out late after school when there's no one else at school, no chance of being walked in on. The school has one gender-neutral bathroom, which is just a staff room, and I would need to talk to a counselor to get the location and permission to use it. From what I'm told, the bathroom is pretty far from most of the classrooms, so I just don't think it's worth it.

I want to talk with my parents about getting testosterone so I won't look as much like a girl. I hate when people look at me and see a girl. I'm fine with people seeing a guy, because my gender leans more on the masculine side of things anyways. I just want people to see me as me, not this idiot butch girl trying too hard.