Take me home(Schömíche)

Twenty three

Listen to "Wittings on the Wall" by Sam Smith, you're welcome;)

My horrible cancer wasn't getting better. I was lucky I still didn't suffer from anything more than inner pain. In fact, I was lucky for a lot of things. Scott being there for me, me not being dead, my parents coming back. The bit of hope I still had left was for me to always be there for Scott even if we won't be together. Because even though I lov-like him slightly more than a friend, I still don't want Jackson to suffer twice the pain he already has to go through because of me. 

I liked it better when I didn't care about anyone and anything. Now I'm suffering for other people when I already had a more horrible pain to worry about. When I used to go to paramore concerts and make out with strangers. When I used to think that not caring about anything was better for everyone because I knew I was going to die anyways. Scott changed me. Scott told me I was going to be fine, I thought he lied. But that doesn't matter now. Here I am. In a bed trying to not think of how it will be when I'm gone.

I could hear Scott talking to the doctor. I could hear the pain through his voice cracking. I could almost feel the tears coming of of his eyes. It was tearing me apart. "What do you mean you're all out of antibiotics?"

"I do have this one last pill, but it's really strong." He said. Scott was helpless, he had a conspicuous way to show it. I couldn't help but bite my own fingers. It was the only thing that could calm me when I was nervous. A bad, but helpful habit I'm willing to look past by.

"I just want him to be fine Doc. Can't you see I'm in love with him?"

There it is again. He was making me feel horrible. This was my fault.

"I'll see what I can do." Is all he could say at this point. It was pointless. I was pointless. Scott, was just hopeless. This whole situation is.

After a few minutes of silence Scott came through the door with a big fake smile. I faked smiled back. His eyes looked tired from crying. I did this to him. "Hey Mitchy, how are you feeling?"

Horrible. Terrible. "Fine. You?"

"Good." Of course, you'll be fine. He sat next to me and held my hand. His hands were warm in comparison to mine. "Mitch, it'll be fine, okay? I need you to be positive about this."

"Are you?" I asked. He fake smiled once again, while rubbing my hand with his thumb. He was hurt. I could almost smell it. 

"I want to be strong for you." He said holding my hand even tighter. "I want to be your rock Mitch."

"You're cute, but it won't help." I tried to be careful with I was saying. He was already hurt because of me. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything for you."

I smiled. "In my apartment I left my Rilakkuma bear. Can you get that for me? I used to hug it to feel better. It reminded me of you." 

"D'aww." 

"Just go." I said rolling my eyes.

A/N wow, this was short! Lol, I'm planning to do little one shots of this book because o hate it when I feel like I don't have enough words. So, yeah! Love you all 😘