Me & My Toyboy [Complete]

TWENTY-ONE

"What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you and what am I supposed to say when I'm all chocked up and you're okay..."
☆ The Script, Breakeven

They shipped me off to boarding school a week later. I was a transfer student in a new town. I felt despondant and abandoned at first because no one besides grams ever called. No one ever visited.

For the next four years of my life I only ever went back home for Christmas - that was just for two weeks. When grams died Charlie had his PA call me. They didn't even let me come to her funeral.

But then I met Ariana Hadley-West. We shared a dormitory. Like a breath of fresh air she entered my life. My first true friend; she taught me to see that boarding school wasn't a horrible place, afterall. It was a clean slate instead, a new beginning that had been granted to troubled girls like us. So we could change our image, re-invent ourselves, even become someone else, someone better, of our own free-will, without persuasion or pressure from anyone else. She reminded me that we were in full control.

I was finally able to find myself, to be myself again. Those four years were the best years of my life. One day in third year I met Kyle at a party. He was twenty-seven and engaged but I had no idea. I was flattered by his dashing good looks and wicked charm. Every girl at school envied me because he was mine. We dated for several months until I decided to have sex with him. He was my first and he knew it, he was kind and gentle. He seemed happier than ever aferwards it was like I finally found my place in the world, finally find someone to love me.

One night I sneaked out the boarding establishment with Ari and a few other girls. We went to a bar down the road. I saw him there with another girl. I approached him, delighted that he was there. But he ignored me. He pretended I was some kind of obsessed school girl who wouldn't stop following him. I started becoming hysterical. Ari was standing in the background and she realised what was happening. She pulled me away and took me back to school. I found out he was engaged a few weeks after that scene in the bar when I saw the wedding announcement in the newspaper. The whole time he kissed me, told me he loved me, had sex with me, the whole time he was engaged. I was distraught for a whole year after that. I felt used, lied to, cheated on...

After graduation I moved back to Everview. I hated being back in that awful house.  Besides being cordial at social events Charlie stopped talking to me altogether. There was silence at the dinner table except for Merkensi's mindless chatter. I started college soon and got a part-time job so I could save up and get my own place.

I met Chad at work. He approached me. He said he couldn't keep his eyes off me. We began dating. Chad was honest though. He told me right at the beginning that he was in a live-in relationship. Celeste was his high school sweetheart and though his feelings for her died years ago, he couldn't just leave her. He stayed more out of pity than love. I didn't fully understand but I stayed with him when he got her pregnant. I stayed with him when she wanted to leave him. I stayed with him when he met into a horrific car accident. I stayed with him when his baby girl was born. I even stayed with him when he was so broke he'd borrow money from me all the time. Celeste didn't work. She didn't cook or clean or do anything for him.

He talked about leaving her a lot but he never did. I should have known then that they never leave their wives, in this case 'girlfriend'. One day Celeste had a freak accident and died immediately. It was the most awful two months of my life that followed. I had no contact with Chad. I felt utterly guilty for all those times I told him to leave her. I put up with all his bull shit for four years because i truly believed he was the one. I was even willing to raise his daughter. We started sleeping together after Celeste died. Things were finally turning up for us because we even went out a few times, something we could never do before.

I don't know what changed because one morning he just woke up and said he was getting married to someone else - he no longer wanted me in his life.