Me & My Toyboy [Complete]

THREE

"So it's gonna be for ever or it's gonna go down in flames..."
~Taylor Swift, Blank Space

When I awoke on sunday it was with a start. I dreamed about Adam. How weird since I only just met him a few days ago! Deciding not to get ahead of myself by over-thinking things (which I had the tendency of doing) I got out of bed to get ready before he arrived. But I was instantly stopped in my tracks when he messaged to say he would come later that evening because "smething came up".

Ok, so I guess I can go back to walking around naked all day then. I rolled my eyes as I stepped into the shower.

It was too cold to go out for a jog so instead of bracing the cold weather or sulking all day I called up Natasha to join me for a movie. She was more than willing so I made popcorn and we got comfy on my two-seater couch, hot chocolate in hand. We had a great afternoon watching my all-time favourite movie: Titanic.

I loved Rose, she was a strong progressive and independent female in a male-dominated time period. But I also loved Jack and his unflinching ability to love so sacrificially. Despite all the romance though I loved Titanic because it was a visual pleasure of pure cinematic geniusness.

When the movie ended Natasha left. It was only four-thirty so to kill time I whipped up a batch of red velvet cupcakes.

The brittle evening finally arrived and so did Adam. I was nervous as hell despite having no reason to be. I made sure to dress super casual in leopard print yoga pants and an old navy hoodie. He too was dressed in grey trackpants and a white printed t-shirt when I opened my front door. I was beginning to love him in white shirts because it really captivated his silvery eyes.

After pleasantries were exchanged I led him into my living room, which really only consisted of  the couch and two chairs. My place was so bachelor-paddy.

"Would you like something to drink, a beer maybe?" Realising I would have to eat all twelve of the cupcakes myself I added, "Oh and I have cupcakes - fresh out of the oven," I winked.

"Chocolate?" I heard him shout out as I made my way to the kitchen. Instead of replying I put two cupcakes on a plate and carried it out with a beer to him.

He wolfed them down in the matter of 48 seconds.

"These are really good. Can I have some more?" he pleaded with puppy eyes. I squirmed enough simply staring into those cement eyes. He didn't need to do that!

Gaining my composure I replied, "If you like these you're gonna love my chocolate brownies!"

"Sorry I couldn't make it this morning. A friend called to play a game of soccer and i just couldn't resist."

I sighed. Why was he explaining himself to me. I really didn't care. "It's okay dude. I wasn't mopping around all day waiting for you."

His laugh reverberated throughout the room as I rushed to the kitchen and back with the plate filled once more. When I re-entered the living room Adam spoke without hesitation, "Madison. I want to sleep with you."

I became rigid with shock by his outlandish words. He had to be kidding. This child of twenty two years old wanted to sleep with me, why?

Because I didn't know how to respond, I laughed it off. "Tell me about yourself. How long have you been living up the road from me?" I tried to change the subject.

He persisted, "I'm serious, Madison. I want to sleep with you."

"You have got to be kidding. I'm not a little slut that's just gonna open my legs and sleep with you! I barely know you Adam!" I became livid. What kind of person did he take me for.

"So get to know me. Please. There's just something about you..."

This must be a joke. Did he spontaneously forget that he is in a "nothing serious" relationship or is it not a relationship at all. "Well it doesn't matter. You have a girlfriend. Tell me about her."

"I had a girlfriend last year. We were going steady and things were great but her dad didn't like me. So we ended things. We would fuck all the time. My new girlfriend, Tia doesn't wanna have sex. We're only dating for a few weeks now as I told you. That's where you come in, I like you. It's not just about the sex." He directed all this information at me in one breath. I couldn't help but gape at him, processing everything before I formulated a response.

"What exactly are you saying?" I demanded, "What do you want from me?"

"I want you," he plainly replied.

I stayed silent for a long time because my mind, as it has the tendency of doing, began racing to all corners of the earth. Oh no, it's happening again. Was I always this girl or did I become her? Did I have 'Side Chic' written on my forehead. There must be some kind of magnetic attraction that  pull guys in relationships towards me. I was the cheat-on-your-girlfriend-with-me type of girl.

"We can be friends with benefits. Except we will be real friends. I really care for you, Maddy. I want to be your friend more than..." he babbled on.

I stopped listening at this point because I was too enraged to concentrate on anything. After a few moments I knew what I had to do so I calmly stood up and Adam finally shut up. I walked towards the door.

"Get out." I said in a neutral tone, "Just leave."

He looked into my eyes as if he was trying to peak into my soul and my shoulders tensed. Thankfully he didn't fight me on it but before walking out the door he said, "Just think about it."

How could I not think about it? After Adam left I attempted to watch TV hoping it would provide me with a good distraction. There wasn't anything worth watching anyway so I sent myself off to bed. 

All night I tossed and turned thinking about what he said: friends with benefits. I was getting too old to play these silly games. Maybe back in high school it would have been a good idea but not now; and not today. I was on the road to recovery I didn't need to be sucked back down that destructive path. My thoughts kept going back to Chad. Adam, was exactly like Chad. I wasn't wrong afterall - cut from the same fucking cloth.

I glaned at my alarm clock which read 2.17 am.  Work started in a few hours so I might as well shut my eyes and get some sleep. Oh fuck! Work. Adam. Adam. Work.