milk § kth

fifteen

june 27, 2012

age: 14

authors pov

sumin had never felt more alone, the bus was horribly humid, frizzing her short hair, which was cut in attempt to give her a slimmer face, and the sweat rolled down every part of her body.

there were other kids on the bus, overweight, not obese, on the brink of death if she continued these habits. she was determined to lose this weight.

she arrived at the camp and the first thing she did was workout, she came in her gym clothing, she skipped the orientation on "safe health" and on how to keep the weight off.

you keep it off by not eating and working out.

she didn't need a 2 hour presentation on it when she could explain it perfectly in one sentence.

all she had done was text namjoon the whole time, she wasn't friends with yunggi at the time, she only met her the year after when she had classes with her.

she never ate that night, though the stomach enlarged by pounds and pounds of snacks eat night longed for it, she refused.

july 31, 2012

sumin had lost 20 pounds from not eating and working out constantly in a spam of a little over a month. she was now down to 230lbs, it wasn't enough, she wanted to be 170 or less by september, she wanted to be like the girls she saw on an LED screen, skinny, pulling off the skinny jeans and the over sized sweaters, and in the summer, shamelessly wear crop tops and shorts.

it was reunion day, halfway through the summer, their family visited, to give many kids hope they weren't here forever.

when she sat down at the table, waiting for namjoon to come, she tapped her foot in anticipation, only imagining what he can comment.

"is that a model or my baby sister?" a deep voice had come out of the distance, sumin gave a small grin and stood up hugging her brother, "kim sumin, what has been going on with you?" he folded his hands, "i should ask you the same thing kim namjoon."

"well i lost 20 pounds, still going obviously, but i grew meaning i dont have to keep the charade up and get down to 115 anymore because i am now 5'6 and not 5'4."

"you grew two inches? slow down you'll be taller than me soon."

the bell rung signaling that visiting day was over, they hugged goodbye and after he left, sumin went straight to the gym.

september 28, 2012

sumin had finally been at peace, happy for once, it was the day she finally left and was going back to school, her mom let her take up the extended camp offer, she won an award for losing the most weight.

an astounding 80 pounds in 4 months.

many asked what her secret was and she replied with the same thing everytime, "fruit, water, and a good workout."

the truth was, don't eat, drink tons of water, never stop working out.

she now weighed 175, not enough. she was at the weight that she could now stop buying plus sizing clothing, just going into the extra larges, she could fit into regular jeans, just the biggest sizes.

she was happy.

december 25, 2012

"we're sorry but she hasn't eaten all day and we're worried, is there anything you could do?" sumins mother stared down at her helpless, 142lb daughter, lying in a hospital bed from fainting.

fat kids don't faint, only the severely skinny.

only the ones who don't eat faint.

in the 3 months she dropped another 30 pounds, sumin heard everything, she is 142 pounds, shes not fat, though she would eat tonight to show she was okay.

she had a plan.

just talk a lot, eat the mashed potatoes, and eat the mac and cheese, don't eat anything else on the plate, cut it all up and talk as you do, you can do this.

march 29, 2013

sumin had been hospitalized majorly for the first time in her life. the result of learning you can live on few candies a week and water consumed her mind and locked her 42 pounds away somewhere, never to be seen again.

in a span of 3-4 months, sumin was now 100 pounds, and she stayed that way until it was time she could start the routines again. she had too much attention, she had to wait until things died down, she maintained the weight for a year until she began losing the weight again, slower than she used to.

they can't call me fat anymore.