Tell Me A Lie

Chapter 29

     I woke up and instantly, I felt ashamed. Thinking about my meltdown yesterday, I found my cheeks heating up as Jai pulled me closer to him. I couldn't believe I cried. I couldn't believe I broke down like that in front of Jai.

    Looking up at his face, I was glad to see that he was sleeping. He looked peaceful and my heart stuttered at the beautiful sight of him. If he hadn't been there yesterday, I had no idea what I would have done. Even if I was embarrassed, I was glad to have him here at my side.

     I closed my eyes for a second, wishing sleep would swallow me up again. However, images of what happened yesterday flashed before my eyes. The way my dad glared at me, the way his hands slapped my face, those memories hit me and my eyes flew wide as I gasped. I had no idea how I'd ever go home again.

    Suddenly, Jai stirred. He grumbled and I forced myself to relax as his eyes slowly opened. As he looked down at me and smiled, I couldn't help but smile back. Despite everything, Jai had a way of making smiles come easy to me.

    "Good morning," he said, staring st me with those green eyes I loved.

    "Morning," I replied, taking in how close we were.

    Jai had an arm wrapped around me and my chest was an inch away from his, now that I pulled away to see his face. His lips were near my forehead and looking at them for a second, what happened yesterday between us popped into my mind. My heart froze and I flushed, but then I thought about my parents who had walked in on us. They had ruined the moment that would have been perfect.

     "You okay?" Jai asked, rubbing my cheek gently with his thumb. "Okay, stupid question. But physically, does anything still hurt?"

     I shook my head because the pain of my dad's physical actions had dimmed down. Even if every wound within me was now reopened, my outside body felt numb. Maybe that was why being this near to Jai didn't make me so nervous. Or maybe, I was just used to it.

    "Do you want to talk about it?" Jai suddenly asked.

    I froze at that and looked away, feeling a stab of pain shoot through me. Yesterday had been one of the worst days of my life. I never had been so scared. I never had a breakdown like that before either. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my life I hated and my actions I was ashamed of.

    "No," I said quietly, looking back at Jai. "I don't want to talk about it."

     "That's fine." Jai smiled sadly. "Can I ask you a question though?"

     My heart froze. "Sure."

     "Did I wake up during the night? At any time?"

     "Not that I know of."

     Jai smiled and my heart melted, seeing him show me his genuine smile. "Wow, you really do kill my demons."

    I smiled back, and suddenly I remembered about Jai's life. I remembered his dad who was traumatized, his mother who was in a better place, and how he got nightmares. I knew facts of his life, but I didn't know the full story.

    So staring at Jai, I debated asking him about his life. It was the weekend so we had the entire day to ourselves, but still I wasn't sure. Jai hated opening up and I knew it was hard for him, which I understood. But, today I felt selfish. With everything that happened yeserday consuming my mind, I wanted to talk about something that would make me forget about my own life. Just for a moment, I really needed that.

     "Jai, can you tell me about your life?" I asked suddenly. "Tell me why you can't sleep at night and tell me about what happened to your mom."