Fractured

Chapter 8

"You wont be like her," he said.

Glancing up to him, I saw his lips were pursed and his eyes stretched over the land.  Looking down to me, he sighed before he looked back up.

"You don't know that," I said. 

"Yes I do," he said immediately after, his voice quiet.

I sighed. "This has been happening for hundreds of years.  Just because I know it's wrong doesn't mean it wouldn't happen to me.  Clare was good, tried to resist it but couldn't.  I got it worse than anybody yet and you think I'll be fine, normal?"

"There is something you have that Clare doesn't.  It's something that tells me that wont happen to you."

I scoffed, looking out across the snowy fields, not wanting to look at him.  "Like what?"

 Finally though, I could feel his eyes fall to me when he tilted his head to look at me.  Finding his eyes, sincerity filled them along with absolute power behind what he was said.

"Heart.  You have heart whereas she did not."

I pursed my lips, looking down.  "She was strong though, and good at--"

"She was strong and trying to be a good person.  But she didn't have the heart you have, the will to not make it happen.  You do.  I know because I can see it in you.  I believe in you.  Plus, you have me," he whispered in such an intimate tone.

I swallowed before looking back up to my side to him.  What he said was sweet and it made me feel better over all.  But how could he be sure?  Especially with that last part.  I didn't want to bring up what I did for the fact that it scared me and it's been on my mind for a while.  Because eventually, it was something I'd have to face: our future.

"How do I know?  Hmm?  Tell me something, what's going to happen after all this is over?  Where are you going to be and where will I be?"  I didn't know and it killed me.  Mainly because I knew that where I'd be wouldn't be with him.

He didn't say anything for a bit as he stared out in space and I knew it was a hard question for him to answer - because neither of us knew where we would be.  But I wanted to know where he thought he would be, what he planned to do after, and where he wanted to see me be.

He took in a deep breath, thinking it over.  The silence only grew between us before he finally managed to answer me.  "I don't know where we will be.  I just know that my job to myself is to give you the life you deserve.  And I will do anything to do that for you.  That means staying with you and helping you as a friend to ensure it.  I know you would be strong enough to handle things on your own; I have that much faith in you.  I'm just saying that if you don't think so, then I will be right here, right at your side to help you.  Do you understand?"

I could feel my body slowly start to relax at his reassuring and calming words.  Exhaling a gust of pure relief at his words, I knew that he would help me no matter where we are in life.  Whether he goes his own way and I go mine, he will still be there for me, to make sure I'm okay.  That was all I could ask for now.

I nodded and glanced back up into his bright green eyes.  They lit up the world around me in the cold, making it warm as our hair blew around us in the wind.  "Tell me something though.  Do you feel sorry for Clare?" I asked.

He shook his head, his eyebrows dipping in thought.  "No.  She made her choices based on selfishness.  She couldn't handle the thought of her children having it better than her.  It was such a selfish choice.  And though what she went through as a kid was... terrible, I can't let myself feel sorry for her too.  Because I can't stand the thought of being weak again because of her; I will never get over what she did to you and never forgive myself for letting it go on.  And it was because I was weak so I wont feel sympathy again over her.  Do you feel sorry for her?"