Nocturne (BoyXBoy)

Dying Again

Chapter Seventeen: Dying Again

I was floating in the blackness. I had no sense of where I was. I was numb. It was quiet. And it was peaceful. 

I felt no pain. I felt nothing. Just the suffocating blackness. 

Everything was black black black. 

Time held no meaning to me. I don't know how long I remained in the blackness. But I began hearing a voice quietly calling out my name from somewhere deep within the depths of the darkness where I floated along. 

Who is that..? The voice seemed so familiar, yet it held no meaning here. Nothing held meaning here. 

The voice was pleading, begging for me to come back to it. 'Don't leave me' it said. 'Don't leave me alone.' 

I'm so sorry, I apologized, even though I knew they couldn't hear me from where I was. I was lost in the blackness. Had I been here before? I felt an odd feeling that I had. 

'Please..I love you.. Don't go..' The voice sobbed. 

It's okay, I told the voice, I'm not going anywhere? 

The darkness was dissipating, and I was growing heavier as my body was returning to gravity. I felt immense pain as I remembered who and where I was. Someone cradled my body gently against theirs, sobbing gently against my hair. I was slightly numb except for the explosive pain in my torso. And I soon found that I could not move. 

I was trapped in my own body. 

"Oh, Night. I'm so sorry." Raven whispered against my hair, his voice cracking. 

"Raven... We're sorry..." I heard a strange voice say from above me. "Finding your mate once is rare... but twice... and losing them both is... I'm so sorry."

Raven planted his lips gently against my forehead and brushed my hair back before resting his head against my own. I could feel his warm breath. How could he not hear my heart beating quickly now that he was so close to me? Why could I not move? If I could push past his mental barriers I could tell him but I was too weak! Panic filled me. 

Please... I'm not dead... Stop crying. 

"Why don't you try giving him blood?" A different voice asked. "It may still have time to be effective in his body."

I felt Raven pull away from me, and I could sense the absence of his warm body to a point where it almost pained me. I was aware that I was covered in blood and that once again, my body was damaged. Five years and here I am in almost the same situation as before. 

Suddenly a new scent permeated the air. It was sweet and delicious smelling. And my body filled with both yearning and horror at the same time. For the scent to be this strong Raven had to have caused serious damage, more than a mere scratch or bite would do. 

I felt his warm skin press against my unmoving lips, and he cupped the back of my head, tipping it so his blood would flow easier down my throat. Hot, sweet crimson filled me, like liquid fire. There was no flavor quite like the taste of Raven's blood. Describing it now, I doubt I could find the words to do it proper justice. Just take the most amazing meal you've ever had in your entire life, and multiply the taste by a hundred. Even then, it probably wouldn't be the equivalent. 

Slowly, I felt life coming back into my body. The remaining tendrils of darkness drifted away from me, and I found myself clutching Raven's skin to me. The sweet red flowed harder down my throat.  I realized at this point he had gashed the side of his throat wide open. My eyes shot open in horror and I shoved him away. He lay on the ground beside me, holding his bleeding neck and smiling, a look of angelic joy plastered to his face. 

"Idiot!" I yelled at him. He threw his arms around me holding me tightly. His blood still trinkled out of his wound. I thought of what would have happened if I would have kept drinking without thinking. In the state I was currently in, I could have drained him if I had felt like it. Even though he was immortal, it would have been a simple and undeserving death. As he clutched me, I became aware that I could have killed him. The person that had created me to save my life, that I had abandoned in an act of angry rebellion, that I had both hated and desired, that I had grown to appreciate when he had shown me kindness, and here was again, saving my life when I needed him the most. And I was thinking of how easy it would have been to kill him. 

A weird feeling flowed through my chest. It felt like granite crushing my insides. This pain was worse than dying. At least with dying there was a dissociation with oneself. This pain made me increasingly aware of EVERYTHING. The way Raven's hair felt against my cheek, how he held me gently as if I might fall apart, how he smelled of ginger and leather and sunshine and blood. My chest ached even more when I considered the absence of these things. 

I loved him so much it felt like it would rip me apart to lose him. 

I clutched him to me, aware of something wet falling from my cheeks. "Idiot." Why did he continue to do such stupid and reckless things? 

Raven pulled away from me, his dark eyes looking directly into mine. "I thought I lost you."

"You're still an idiot." I looked around, finding that the room we were in was empty, despite large puddles and smears of blood everywhere, the aftermath of my earlier rage. "What happened?" 

"After my father hurt you, I attacked him. Together, my brothers and I ripped him to pieces and burned him. They just left to scatter the ashes." Raven's voice was completely devoid of emotion. 

"I'm sorry you had to kill your father." I told him quietly. I remembered how it felt to watch my parents die. I could only imagine how it felt to be the one to do it. 

"I'm not. He was a cruel man. I've watched him kill too many of the people I've loved. You were the one person I couldn't stand to see die." He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to mine. 

"Why?" I wanted to hear it. Raven tilted his head up to look at me. He was quiet for a long moment. Slowly, without saying a word, he gently grabbed my chin and leaned closer. His lips hovered above my own. MY heart raced. 

"Because I love you, Night." He kissed me hard. Raven's lips pressed against my own with burning force. I didn't even have a chance to be surprised. 

And I wasn't even mad.