Chapter 19: If Only
Wanna know who burned you so bad, left your heart in ashes on the ground. Made you promises took them right back, left you cold and alone now all you know is the sound of goodbye you won't let anyone inside.
-Smoke, Maddi and Tae
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"Then do it, Zorro."
I wasn't drunk, wasn't high on some illegal drug. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted his kiss to be better than the rest.
His lips came close so close I felt his breathe.
"I can't." He whispered pulling away so quick it shocked me and I stumbled backwards.
I looked at him confused as he ran a hand through his already tangled mess of hair.
"Why can't you, don't you like me?"
He looked at me almost as if he had forgotten I was standing there. He was quiet for a long period of time just staring at me and I wished more than ever that I could read his mind.
"Because I can't ruin you."
"How would you ruin me?" I asked.
"I'm bad for you. I'm so bad for you! I drink, I smoke, I party, I do things that are so unimaginable to you."
"Asher,-" I started but he stopped me.
"I'm drunk." He said as if he just realized. "I've had multiple beers right?"
He looked to me with some hopeful look. Which made me even more confused. He wasn't that drunk.
I nodded slowly still staring at him as if he was crazy. Maybe he did drink too much and he won't remember any of this happened.
He came up to me and grabbed my shoulders. Licking his lips as they turned into a twisted smirk.
"You trust me?"
I furrowed my eyebrows together.
"Yeah." I said slowly.
"Then trust me that I know what I'm doing, okay? No matter how bad I want to kiss you right now it has to wait."
"Why?" But he ignored me and continued on.
"I promise I will tell you everything soon." With that he kissed my forehead and left.
I stood there stunned. What just happened?
I almost kissed Asher.
He went all crazy.
Left as quickly as he came.
My mind was going crazy blaring all these red alerts that this was too far. I need to back up, get distance and forget him. There was other guys. But none other that made me feel the way Dylan did. The way Asher does. So I ignored all the silly warnings and followed what I thought I needed, but really just wanted.
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"How come you disappeared so early?" Caleb asked as he put his books in his locker.
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