Healing Scars

6. Kisses

Kyler's P.O.V.

I closed my eyes and ran away before he could tell me how disgusting I was. I didn't even know where I was going but I stopped when I got to the park and broke down crying. You're such a baby. Everything was going down. Chris probably hated me and his brother was going to beat the shit out of me when he found out. I was terrified. If I wasn't such a freak then maybe things would've worked out with Chris. My sobs were shaking me violently and I just wanted it all to end. I couldn't believe I had showed him my scars. Of course he would hate them! I felt two strong arms wrap around me, holding me tight. I couldn't stop crying; even with his arms holding my together I felt I was falling apart. Chris rocked me back and forth, whispering things in my ear. I had stopped crying but I was still sobbing. Hold it together, queer.

"Let me see." He whispered in a low vioce, gently wiping my tears away. I shook my head. "Please beautiful, I want to see."

I loooked away from him and pulled apart. Slowly I pulled up my sleeve so he could see my cuts. "I know they're ugly and disgusting and that you won't ever look at me in eye again because they're hideous..." I sobbed. "But I..."

Chris stopped me with a gesture of his hand touching my scars, tracing them carefully. I saw his blue eyes widening when he saw the word queer carved deep in to my wrist. His thumb touched the marks, barely pressing against them. Chris took my arm firmly and the next thing I felt were his warm lips pressed against the scarred skin of my wrist. He traced small kisses on my whole arm and then looked up. His blue eyes were glassy.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself. You're too good for that. Shit, you're too good for me..."

"I'm not good." I cried. "I'm this hideuos ugly thing..."

Chris pressed his lips against mine roughly grabbing my shoulders. "You're perfect Kyler. You're so beautiful it hurts to look at you. Please, please promise me you won't do it again."

"I..."

"Just call me when you feel like doing it. Call me and I'll be there in the blink of an eye. Please, promise me." His blue eyes were begging.

"Yes."

Chris kissed me again but pulled away quickly.

"I need to ask you something and I need you to anwser me with the truth." He looked at me with a serious face, I nodded quietly. "The word you have on your wrist... Is it there because my brother called you that the other day?"

I looked to the ground without saying anything. I felt Chris' arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I hid my face in the crook of his neck and whispered a tiny 'yes'. I couldn't see his face but I could tell he was angry, he was hugging me almost too tight.

"That little shit is going to hear about this."

I pushed him away from me. "YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS! YOU CAN'T TELL BRANDON HE'S GOING TO..."

"He's going to what? He's never going to touch you again, I'm going to fucking kill him. And I would never tell anyone about this Ky, but you have to promise me that you'll try to stop. I can't let you do that to yourself, it hurts me too."

His eyes were locked into mine. I sighed and tried to keep myself together. Weak.

Chris took my hand and rubbed it. "You're cold, let's go to my house."

My eyes widened. "What if your brother is there? I can't... I mean he... He's going to..."

"If he touches a single hair on your head I'll break his arms and legs and make him crawl forever." Chris hugged me again and I saw him frown. "Wow, you're so tiny."

He's lying. You're huge.

I didn't say anything.

He picked me up bridal style and started walking towards his house and I cuddled into his chest.

"Call your mom and tell her we're having a sleep over at my house."

I nodded and I could hear the smile in his voice. How can he carry you? You're too heavy, he's probaly breaking his back. I panicked but Chris laughed.

"What is it baby?"

"Am I too heavy?"

I guess he could hear the panic in my voice because he held me tighter and looked me straight in the eye. "You're too light, Ky. I think you need to eat more."

He's lying. You're a fat whore. You don't need more food, you need to stop stuffing your fat face.

A tear ran down my face slowly but Chris didn't see it.

I needed to lose weight.

Fast.