I Bear It So They Don't Have To (A Clexa Fanfiction)

Relief

Clarke's POV;

As I watch the embers of our camp fire slowly die out I begin to feel the cold air creep up the sleeves of my jacket. Of course we decide to leave camp as winter sets in. Now not only could we die because of the freezing temperature but also of starvation.

A tight frost seems to keep the animals we need to hunt in there shelters and the plants we need to gather from growing.

So far we have been successful in escaping Camp Jaha. Octavia had informed me after we left that this was probably down to Kane. He had been giving her a hand gathering supplies and showed her exactly where the broken section of the electric fence was. No doubt he was in camp now throwing my mother off our scent.

People like Kane remind me that there is still good in Camp Jaha and that the ground hasn't changed us all for the worst.

"Here Clarke, you need to eat some food."

I jump up slight from the log I'm sitting on, I didn't even see Bellamy approach as I was so deep in thought. Looking up I see a smirk spread across his face and in his hand is a small piece of meat.

"I'm good thanks." I say declining the meat. It was from a deer Lincoln had managed to kill the first night out in the forest and now three days on I know we are running low. Why waste food on people who don't need it?

"Come on Clarke." Bellamy says taking a seat beside me, stretching his injured leg out in front of him. "It's been ages since I've saw you eat."

"I'm not starving myself Bellamy, I'm just not hungry right now." I reply looking straight ahead.

In front of me I can see that the rest of the group are asleep, Octavia resting her head on Lincoln's shoulder and Raven sprawled across Wick both of the lying on the ground.

"Fine then, if you won't eat this then at least eat some berries." Bellamy sighs.

Knowing he won't stop pestering me until I actually eat something in front of him I nod and Bellamy points over to one of the bags we snuck out of camp.

I rise slowly from the log and quietly walk over to the bag trying not to wake anyone up. It takes a bit of rummaging and a few of the bags contents fall out onto the ground below but I eventually find them at the bottom.

I begin to undo the mess I made around the bag, putting back in all the things that fell out when one of them catches my attention. It's a container of tablets. The pain relief tablets that Octavia had snuck me setting me in a constantly dazed state. They made everything slow down and seem a lot easier but mostly they helped me to forget.

"Did you find them?" Bellamy's calls over from the log.

"Yeah I have them here." I say back to him zipping up the bag but putting the container of tablets into my jacket pocket.

I walk back over to Bellamy, with the small sack of berries in my hand.

He looks up at me expectantly and I roll my eyes opening the sack and pouring a small amount into my hand. I pop them into my mouth hoping it is enough to to please him and that it will keep him quiet even if just for a short while.

"Now was that really so bad?" He says sarcastically, another smirk plastered on his face.

I can't help but role my eyes at him again, laughing slightly.

"I think I might join them." He says gesturing to the two couples fast asleep just in front of us.

"Go ahead." I tell him. "I was going to stay up a take watch just incase, there's no point us both doing it."

Bellamy smiles at me thankfully. He lowers himself down so his back is resting against the log and folds his arms over his chest.

"Goodnight Princess, wake me if anything happens." He says, his eyes already closed.

After waiting a while making sure Bellamy was actually asleep I rise to my feet a walk away from the group just far enough so I can still see them in the moonlight.

Leaning against a tree trunk I let out a sigh, no longer having to act. Recently I've been trying to involve myself more in their conversations and trying to laugh at their stupid jokes all so that they won't worry so much and it is definitely working. I am no longer getting the sympathetic glances or sad smiles.

Leaving Camp Jaha has really helped but nothing will stop me thinking of Lexa. Everything reminds me of her. The forest reminding me of her eyes and how Raven and Wick act around each other making me think of what we could have had.

When I'm alone I can stop pretending. Stop pretending that each day isn't hard without her here to help me through. I need relief and with my hands my pockets I know exactly what can give me it.

~~~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

I hope you enjoyed the chapter!! What do you think of Clarke turning to drugs?????

Thanks for reading :)))

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