Emily #freementalillness #literasia

s i x

Emily lied. All the damn time. 

She was never truly fine, even if she pretended to be. She even fooled herself for a short while. Some part of her knew that everything she did to herself wasn't right, but she chose to ignore it anyways.

Emily wanted people that cared about her, yet she couldn't tell the ones that mattered what was really going on in her life. She liked it to seem perfect. Everything in order, everything in place. Probably because it wasn't. 

Her life was like a puzzle put together haphazardly. Each piece was jammed in, even if it didn't quite fit. All the wrong pieces were dumped into Emily's life and instead of discarding the ones that were clearly wrong, she tried to make everything fit. Her biggest problem was that she threw away the ones she needed the most. 

"Have you eaten today?" Walter said quietly. Emily only whisked her egg batter faster as her face heated up. Chef was in the mood for breakfast today. In a way, she used her classes as personal food slaves. How ironic yet ingenious of her. 

Walter stood back from the cooking station and watched her frail, thin arms work the food, turning ingredients into an edible meal, rather than the mess he made. 

It was obvious to anyone with eyes that she wasn't okay. She never laughed or smiled. She didn't spend time with friends. She only scowled, spat sarcastic comments, and insulted people. Emily never showed up to the cafeteria, where everyone at school ate lunch, and she was a stick. He'd seen the way that she looked disgusted at her reflection in a window as they passed by, delivering cookies, the other day. 

The yearbooks and newspapers from freshman to sophomore year depicted an outgoing person, in multiple clubs and sports, but she'd quit them all. 

The most telltale sign of all; her fainting. Emily must've done it often, because she wasn't even fazed when she passed out. She simply got up and kept going.

It hurt Walter to see Emily destroy herself. 

She just couldn't see that they were alike, each hiding something under a perfect exterior. 

"So is this what it's going to be, Emily? Ignoring me as if I'm not here like you ignore all your problems?" 

She slammed the plate down in front of her and it shattered. Silent tears streamed down her face. Class ended and everyone left, leaving Walter and Emily. 

After another long silence, Emily contemplated her options, choosing to run. Because when she couldn't ignore her issues, she ran from them. 

Walter called after her, but she didn't stop, not until she couldn't  feel her legs as they collapsed underneath her.