Chapter 3: Luke's Lonely

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*could be triggering*


A week had passed and Ashton was back at home. Well, barely. He'd spend most nights over at Michael's because Ashton was terrified to even be in the same house as his father, but of course he didn't tell that to Michael.

During the past week, Michael had caught him self-harming; which didn't just hurt Ashton, it hurt Michael too. He was worried about Ashton more than he cared to admit.

He knew about self-harm, and how addicting it could be. He knew that Ashton couldn't just stop, it was going to take time and Michael was determined to get him there no matter how long it took.

When Ashton woke up at the hospital, he was asked so many questions that he didn't want to answer. So he lied and said that he couldn't remember. Michael seemed to have believed it, which was weird because he was a terrible lier. Calum could see right through him when he asked about his arm.

He didn't know why the raven-haired boy was so curious all of a sudden. Why now? Ashton didn't get it. However, he couldn't let Calum know what was going on. It was hard enough when Michael found out.

Ashton also didn't understand why Michael cared so much for him. He cared more than his parents did, but he was lucky to have Michael. He was the only real friend Ashton had.

.•*°.•*°.•°*

"Do you think that Michael guy is hot?" Luke asked, the raven-haired boy not seeming interested. There was still some tension between the two since Luke and Ashton's argument.

"I don't know, I guess." Calum shrugged, putting his soccer shirt over his head and replaced his skinny jeans with shorts, unaware of Luke eyeing him.

It wasn't Luke's fault. If a guy is half naked in front of him, obviously he's going to look. And plus, Calum was hot. He'd never miss an opportunity to see him like that.

"Hurry up, you're making me hard." Luke said in a raspy voice. Calum scoffed, finally pulling the shorts up his legs.

"Shut up."

"Maybe we can.. You know," Luke suggested, biting his lip. Calum walked over to the boy, standing between his legs from where he sat on the edge of Calum's bed. Luke wrapped his arms around the raven-haired boy, leaning in to kiss him. However, Calum inched away.

"How about no." Luke's mouth dropped. Calum snickered and made his way out of the room, a very frustrated Luke following behind.

"I wish you wouldn't do that." Luke whispered as they made their way down the stairs.

"Do what?"

"Pretend like you'd actually.. do things with me. Because sometimes I think you're serious." Calum didn't know what to say. He's never seen Luke so insecure.

"I had no idea you even liked me like that–"

"No, it's not that. But sometimes I feel.." Luke paused, trying to avoid Calum's gaze. "Forget it. Let's go, you're gonna be late." The blonde stepped past him, walking the rest of the way down the stairs much to Calum's dismay.

On the way to Calum's soccer game, the boy couldn't stop thinking about what Luke said. Did he mean that sometimes he felt lonely? Because if that was the case, then sure Calum would cuddle him. But he didn't think Luke would actually want to have sex with him.

Calum will admit, it was wrong of him to lead Luke on like that. How was he supposed to know that Luke wasn't joking. If the raven-haired boy was being honest, he didn't want to do anything that could potentially ruin their friendship. Although, it could make them closer. He just didn't want to risk it.

Calum's mother, Joy, parked the car. Her and Luke making their way towards the bleachers, Calum running over to the dressing room where his teammates would be. As Luke went to sit down in the second row, he noticed Ashton sitting with Michael. Ashton's gaze met Luke's and the blonde glared before sitting down.

The curly-haired boy looked down, wishing that he'd never came to this stupid soccer game. Although it was better than being at home. His lip trembled, Ashton digging his nails into his sweater covered wrist as hard as he could since he obviously didn't have a blade. Michael looked down, noticing what Ashton was doing and he quickly placed his hand over Ashton's.

The boy blinked back tears, Michael intertwining their fingers together and wiped his tears away. Ashton didn't expect him to hold his hand, in fact he didn't know what to do. So he just left it. And, because he liked how it felt. Ashton timidly smiled at the blue haired boy, Michael leaning in and kissing his cheek; causing Ashton to blush.

Throughout the soccer game, Michael noticed Luke glancing at them every so often. It was annoying in his books. Luke still had a slight bruise from when Ashton punched him and Michael was considering going over there and punching Luke himself if he kept on staring.

Ashton will admit, Calum was a really good soccer player. And if he was being honest, he was mainly just watching him and no one else. The effort he put into this stupid game was incredible, and Ashton didn't know why but he was intriguing.

Ashton was sad when the game had ended, but he was also happy because Calum's team had won again. Ashton looked at the smiling raven-haired boy with his teammates, if it wasn't for Calum they probably wouldn't have won. He was positive that Calum was one of the best players on the team.

"I need to pee, I'll be back soon." Michael said and Ashton nodded, letting go of the boys hand. Once the blue-haired boy was gone, Ashton thought it'd be a good opportunity to congratulate Calum. He stood from his seat in the bleachers and stepped down, making his way towards where Calum was standing.

When the boy got close, Calum's teammates looked surprised when they saw him standing behind the raven-haired boy. Calum furrowed his eyebrows, wondering what they were looking at until he turned around.

"Ashton?"

"Hi," He said, feeling awkward that his teammates were looking at them. Calum seemed to notice, because he gave them a look saying to leave and they did as told.

"I didn't expect you to be here. Last week you seemed embarrassed.."

"I don't wanna talk about that."

"Well, what'd you wanna talk about then?" Calum asked, confused as to why he was acting weird.

"I just wanted to congratulate you. You know, for winning."

"Okay.. thanks,"

"Why are you acting weird?"

"What? you're the one that's acting weird." Calum laughed, earning Ashton to as well.

"I don't like soccer, but I like watching you play it." Ashton completely changed the subject, but he wasn't expecting to say that out loud.

"Maybe I can change your perspective and we can play sometime?" Calum suggested, Ashton laughing and shaking his head.

"No way."

"Come on, I bet I can get you to like it."

"You keep telling yourself that." Calum smiled at the curly-haired boy, forgetting that he looked broken all the time. Because for once, it seemed as though Ashton was alright. Calum desperately wanted to keep him that way.

"You should smile more often, you look beautiful." Calum stated, Ashton's cheeks flushing red and he looked at the ground still smiling. Calum guessed he did that when he was embarrassed, and that was adorable.

Ashton saw Luke coming, so he just smiled timidly at Calum and left without another word. Luke asked Calum a heap of questions, in which he ignored and just kept looking at Ashton.

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