Open When...(Paul Walker Fanfiction)

Sixteen

Song: Tightrope by Ron Pope {I'm imagining the words you said when last I saw your mouth / Yes, I'm walking on a tightrope wire / So afraid to fall / And I'd tell you that I miss you but I'm sure it doesn't matter at all}
--
January 24th, 2014 (15 weeks, 4 days)

At some point in our lives, we all make mistakes. They can be simple or complex, or sometimes even deadly. I've made a mistake that could possibly cost my life, but there's not a whole lot I can do about it. In the past four days since Paul left me, I've had time to reflect on where everything went wrong. If I had not made that phone call and canceled the abortion the first time, then this wouldn't even be happening. Of course I regret that decision, but there's nothing I can do to change it.

Right now, our marriage seems like it has been totally destroyed. Meadow talked to her father the night he left, but she won't tell me how he is. I've been worried sick about him, thinking that he's going to do something stupid and not like himself. He has every right to be mad at me, but that anger doesn't give him the right to go do whatever to lash out at me.

I wish I could talk to him again, and try to tell him something. I'm not sure what that something is, though. He wants to hear that this is all a mistake and I'm not going anywhere, but I can't tell him that. That's the thing about mistakes; once it's already happened, it's almost impossible to take it back.

When Paul walked out the door and Meadow came in demanding to know what was going on, I had no choice but to tell her. Keeping it from her was just going to cause more problems. As I expected, she was pissed off at me.

--

Flashback (4 days ago)

"What the hell just happened?" Meadow yells at me.

I remain sitting on the floor, tears streaming down my face. This fight between Paul and I was about ten times worse than the one before the accident. Emotionally, I'm not ready to deal with Meadow's reaction after her father just walked out. However, she expects an answer and I won't be able to get out of this one. "Mead, let's sit down in the living room."

She nods hesitantly before walking over to help me up. The last time I made her so upset, she took off to Hawaii. I wouldn't doubt that she will do it again once I deliver this news to her. That is only one of the many thoughts running through my mind as we sit down on the couch. "Okay, so tell me, what is going on? Don't leave any part of it out. I need to know the full story."

I begin to tell her exactly what I told Paul only moments ago. While I'm telling her, I carefully watch her body language and facial expressions. Unlike Paul, she isn't hiding her thoughts about it. "Your father said he couldn't stand to be here anymore, so he left. He said that he would call you tonight if you wanted to talk about this."

Meadow leans over, her face in her hands. I can't tell if it's out of anger or something else, but when she looks up, I can see the resentment in her eyes. "You know that you just tore this family apart, right? All through my childhood, I grew up in two separate homes. I loved both of my parents, but I hated having to switch between them. Then when I officially moved here, everything felt normal, like I had a home. Now, everything is falling apart, and it's all your fault." She wipes a few tears away before getting up and walking to her room.

--

The sound of the doorbell brings me out of my thoughts and back into reality. I grab the baby monitor and take it with me as I walk to the front door. To my surprise, Callie and Andrew are standing on the other side. They both have somber looks on their faces.