Open When...(Paul Walker Fanfiction)

Letter #4: Open When...You Need Me

A/N: PLEASE READ THIS LOL. So Paul's birthday is next weekend, and ROWW has partnered with a company called Represent to release some new merchandise in honor of Paul's birthday. 100% of the proceeds go to ROWW. If you want something, it's only available until September 15th, so hurry hurry hurry! It's available at represent.com/forpaul there's also a link on ROWW's store homepage.

Also, Paul's friend Jesse is doing his International Sunrise/Sunset & #OneMillionforROWW campaign again, so make sure you participate! It has a Facebook page too. If there are any questions, don't hesitate to comment or PM me!

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December 13th, 2013 (9 weeks, 4 days)

"Meadow still won't talk to me," I sigh, locking my phone. I've pushed her away, even though we need each other now more than ever. Tomorrow marks two weeks that Paul has been in a coma. Although he made a significant improvement by coming off of the ventilator, that's about the only thing that has changed. Every day since Meadow left four days ago, I've been texting her updates. Despite what is going on between us, she deserves to know what's going on.

I can't think straight through this messed up head of mine. When I was driving to the hospital, I was absolutely convinced that I was going to forgo this pregnancy. Nothing should've changed between that time and the ultrasound, but it did. I'll admit I'm absolutely crazy for deciding to keep these babies, but I just can't bring myself to end the pregnancy. If Paul were awake, he would probably drag me to the hospital to have an abortion. It's not that he doesn't want them or love them, he just doesn't want to lose me. I don't want to lose him, but I have a strong feeling that I will when he wakes up.

When I look up at Callie and Andrew, they are both staring at me. They don't know the full story behind everything that's been going on, right down to my dangerous pregnancy. It's not like I don't want them to know, I just haven't thought about telling anybody about the whole situation because I've been so focused on my husband. Paul's family doesn't even know about the babies. They'll probably have the same reaction as Paul, the same goes for two of my favorite people sitting right in front of me.

Callie is the first one to speak up. "So, are you going to catch us up to speed?"

With a slight nod, I begin the story. I tell them how I found out about not being able to have kids and how devastated Paul and I were. Then, how shocked I was when I found out about the pregnancy at Luke's checkup for his shots. I tell them how I didn't tell Paul about the pregnancy and he found out on his own right before he had the accident. "He was so pissed off for keeping it from him. Then he said that we had to get rid of 'it'."

"Wait, why would you have to get rid of the baby?" Andrew questions, his eyes slightly narrowing. He's catching on to the fact that something is wrong.

"Because from where the bullet hit, it will cause me to bleed out when I go into labor or if I have a miscarriage." I look down at my hands on the table as both of them take a sharp breath in.

Callie stands up from her chair. "Are you serious? You didn't tell me that when you told me you were pregnant! Sierra, you can't go through with this!" Andrew nods his head in agreement.

I bite my tongue to keep the bitterness from trying to make its way out. "I can, and I will. Believe me, I had every intention to end this pregnancy, but you don't know what it's like to hear your child's heartbeat for the first time. To know that your carrying a pure soul inside of you that knows no evil, something that was created by you and the person you love so dearly. Now, imagine trying to take not only that away, but a second life as well."