Open When...(Paul Walker Fanfiction)

Letter #15: Open When...Things Are Falling Apart

Hey guys, since next week is finals week, the next real chapter won't be until December 11th. But, there will be a bonus chapter next Friday (December 4th) from Paul's point of view that you guys will probably enjoy lol. You'll know what I mean when you're finished with this one!

Song: Love in the Dark by Adele {It feels like we're oceans apart / There is so much space between us / Maybe we're already defeated}
--
January 20th, 2014 {15 weeks, 0 days}

As I pace back and forth in front of the master bathroom door, I can't shake the feeling that everything is about to fall apart. In truth, it is. Once Paul finds out everything, it could be the end of us. I don't think that I would blame him, though. He made me promise to do something for him, and I couldn't get it done out of my own ignorance. Now, I'm possibly being sentenced to my death because of it. Part of the blame is on the receptionist for not telling me about the deadline, but most of the blame is on me. I'm to blame for my marriage about to fall apart.

To make things worse, in the past five days, Paul keeps avoiding the conversation when I bring it up. I tell him I have to talk to him about the abortion, but he doesn't want to. He says that it's in the past and we could try another way to have a child. Little does he know that our kids are still inside of me. Of course, I need and want to tell him, but there never seems to be the right time. Today has to be that time, because I can't keep this from him any longer. It's killing me inside.

Finally, I open the bathroom door to see Paul wrapping a towel around his waist. Steam is still rolling through the warm air, and water is clinging to his chest. I'll never get over this view of him. I shake my head, trying to get rid of the distraction. "I need to talk to you about something."

He stops in the middle of grabbing a washcloth out of the bathroom closet. "If it's about the abortion, I don't want to talk about it."

"But Paul, it's important." I insist.

"I said I don't want to talk about it, Sierra." He turns to look me in the eyes, and I know that he's serious about it. How am I supposed to tell him if he doesn't even want to carry a conversation about it? Am I just supposed to blurt it out? However, that's not the kind of news that you just blurt out, especially when it's the kind that is going to break his heart.

I lean against the doorway with my arms crossed. I am intent on telling him before he even leaves this bathroom. "If you don't want to talk about it, fine. Just listen. Besides, I'm sure you'll have plenty to say when I'm done talking."

Paul looks at me warily and rubs a towel through his hair. It's growing longer than it was before the accident, and he'll have to get it cut again for the movie. "Okay, I'll listen, but can we talk about this tonight? I'm meeting up with the guys today to run some lines and get back into the swing of things. I'd rather not have a possible fight with you weighing on my mind. It's draining."

The thought of blurting it out runs through my mind once more, but a knock at the bedroom door stops that.

"Brian is here to pick me up! I will see you later!" Meadow calls. Her voice is followed by heavy footsteps going down the hallway, and the slam of the front door. Not more than five seconds after that, Luke's crying comes through the baby monitor.

"Damn it," I mumble, walking over to retrieve the monitor. I look back over at Paul and he's already getting dressed. "Wonder where Meadow is going?"

He pulls a shirt over his head. "What are you talking about?" Instead of meeting my eyes, he continues to get dressed and look down at the floor. Not only is the abortion heavy on his mind, but so is his parent's divorce. Paul stayed out with Caleb and Cody a couple of nights ago, having a brother's night like they desperately needed. My husband is the strongest person I know, but with this news I'm afraid he will have too much on his plate and he will snap.