Survivor

12: Starting Over

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes

Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight

-Chandelier, Sia

CHAPTER 12

{ Starting Over }

~LIZ~

I woke up and felt the right side of the bed. He wasn't there. I remember him holding me and me falling asleep in his arms. After weeks, for the first time, I managed to sleep a whole night, without waking up screaming to save my parents. It was a Monday. I needed to get to school, if I needed to graduate off Priestley high. Missing weeks of school, hasn't helped much.

I drag myself out of bed and stood in front of the bathroom mirror. My tearstained face, all red and my nose blotchy. Dark circles rimmed my eyes, making me look like I hadn't slept for years on. My hair was in a normal untamed mess. If I wasn't feeling so miserable, I would say that I looked like a bad ass punk rock star.

I got dressed into an oversized hoodie, and leggings. I put on a beanie and boots and made my way down. I opened the door and I heard two voices drifting around the house.

"She has to go for the therapy," a raspy voice spoke.

"But is she ready?" I heard Claudia.

"After what happened, you're seriously asking me that question?" The raspy voice sounded annoyed.

"What if she doesn't want to go?"

"She doesn't have a choice," I heard a fist collide with the counter.

"Choice in what?" I asked as I reached the foot of the stairs.

"You're going to school?" I realized the raspy voice belonged to Raven.

"Yeah. I missed loads, and I want to graduate, so...," I pulled.

"Oh. Ok."

"So what don't I have a choice in?"

"About that," Claudia licked her lips. "Why don't we talk about it after you come back from school?"

"Why aren't you dressed?" I looked at Raven, who was wearing a t shirt and sweats.

"I'm sick, I don't think I can handle school at the moment," he pointed to his red nose. Awkward silence enveloped us.

"How are you feeling now?" Claudia asked.

"I'm feeling ok. Why what's wrong?" I looked between mother and son confused. They were talking about sending me somewhere. And it bugged me that they didn't want to tell me. Do they hate me now that they know that I'm a murderer? Do they want to send me away? What if its worse? What if they want to send me to prison? Did they call the police on me?

"Can you just tell me what I don't have a choice in?" I blurted out.

"We were," Claudia paused and looked at Raven. He signalled her to carry on. "We were thinking of sending you for grief therapy."

"What? Why? Do you think there's something wrong with me?" I glared at them. They were looking at me with pained expression. Like as if I was really going mad. "Stop looking at me like that." I felt claustrophobic. The walls were closing in. I stumbled and took a step back, holding on to the banister. Why would they think that I'm going crazy. My breath became shallower and shallower until I was taking short shallow breaths. My vision blurred and I saw two blurred figures squat in front of me. Was I going to die? I hope so. My heart was beating in my chest hard. I then heard Claudia's voice.