Intoxicated Essence

Chapter 6

:: Cassidy's POV ::

I just layed my head on Chresanto's chest. Im pretty sure he had dozed off by now. It had been almost one full week since our little.. "situation" at the dance studio (Aka when we got it ooonnnn). Shhiid. Now we were seeing each other damn near everyday. We made sure our encounters were after all the kids left, but eventually we got tired of that so we moved it to my house.

I wonder what he told Crystal. Did he tell her that he was simply just working late? Or did she even know I was there? She couldn't possibly know that little detail. Late nights with a beautiful girl such as myself? That could drive any woman crazy. Unless she has someone to distract her? Another man maybe?

Nahh. Crystal's a sweet girl. She's kinda young but nonetheless, still sweet. I'm probably just talking out the side of my ass. Either way, I wouldn't let my man be ANYWHERE NEAR another female... well if I had one at all.

I looked over at my alarm clock. 2:26 am. Damn. Had I and Chres been going at it for THAT long? 4 damn hours. I guess after 10 years, we really did have a lot of catching up to do and trust me honey, he really did perfect his craft over the years. ;) Don't worry though, we used a condom each and everytime. Hell, the last thing I wanted to do was end up pregn---.

I cut that thought because already it had led to another thought, like a chain reaction. I couldn't think about Caeden while I was around Chresanto. What if it slipped? Yeah, maybe he could've forgiven me for not telling him about his son, but... Caeden was gone now and it was all my fault. He would never forgive me for that and... I couldn't have Chresanto walk out of my life. I cared for him too much. I even still lov--.

I had to remind myself that he had a new life. A fiance. A career. A baby on the way. Cassidy Sanders was nowhere in that life. Even knowing this, I couldn't get up. I couldn't unwrap his arm from around me. I couldn't end us hooking up even if he had to run back home to Crystal ... because honestly, I didn't want to. I knew it was wrong but I didn't want to pull away. I just couldn't get myself to do it.

Ugh. When did life get so difficult? My relationships are always so hard. Then I thought, I really only had one TRUE relationship and that was with Chresanto. What if I started dating? Would the difficulty follow me wherever I went, or would it be dropped once I ended this with Chresanto?

My stomach churned at the thought. Chresanto was the only guy I ever loved. He was the father of my son. I couldn't just let him go, even if I wanted to.

"Relax, " I heard him mumble groggily.

I looked at him with a confused expression, as if he could actually see me. "You weren't even looking at me. How could you tell something was wrong?"

"I don't have to be looking at you to tell that something's wrong," he said. I felt his grip around me tighten, almost as if he never wanted to let me go. And honestly, it made me smile on the inside. Even though it was so wrong, I felt that Chresanto had so quickly filled the void-the emptiness I had to deal with when he wasn't in my life-that was in my heart. I closed my eyes in pure bliss, even though it would last for a few hours.

I felt him look over at the alarm clock then kiss my forehead. He slowly got up, trying not to disturb me even though I wasn't asleep. He sat on the edge of the bed and slid on his boxers.

I stared at his perfectly toned body as he made his way to my bathroom.

"Hey hey hey! There's one rule in this house," I said and he turned around expectantly. "No.. clothes."

He laughed but he could see the seriousness in my face. He turned his head back towards the bathroom then slid down his boxers.

Whew yes! That's what mommy likes to see!