#KnowingWhenToGiveUp

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Nathaniel

"We just know how to cut our losses," I told Mich. "Like I did with you," I added.

"It's funny though. I thought we were taught never to give up," she replied, ignoring my comment about us.

"If I hadn't given up, would that have gotten me anywhere?"

She scrunched her nose, but replied, "Maybe."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

She shrugged, "Maybe I just needed an extra push?"

"Maybe you needed to cut your losses."

She pouted. "My brain tells me I should, but my-"

"Heart?"

"Yes, I have one," she replied with a grin. "Heart refuses to give up."

I laughed. "It shouldn't, or you'd die."

She laughed. "You know what I mean."

I shrugged, imitating her.

"You know, when the one that you care about, I'm going to use the word, love the most in the, I might as well be dramatic about it, world doesn't feel anything for you. Doesn't see you. Doesn't want to see you. Doesn't want to talk to you or hear anything you have to say... It hurts. As much as I don't want to admit it, it hurts."

I waited for her to continue.

Of course I know how that feels. Especially when she's sitting right next to me, talking about someone else. Life can be cruel.

"But hey, if you can get over it, so can I," she continued. "Unless you never really liked me that much-"

I laughed at how she finally acknowledged me. "No, not really that much," I replied.

She scrunched her nose, as if a bit disappointed, but I know better now.

"Is that how you moved on to Tia so quickly?" she asked, challenging me.

Four years is not how I would define quickly.

"I realized that she's so much nicer than you," I replied to her challenge.

If she wants to play the fool, then I'll just follow her suit.

Although, to be fair to Tia, I really do like her, and she really is nicer.

"And prettier too," I added.

I can see the irritation in Mich's eyes.

She considered for a while, and replied, "She had always been the prettier one. You have always known that."

I smirked at her comeback.

"Can I at least have be the smarter one?" she asked.

I laughed. "I don't think you really have a say in that."

She pouted again, "Fine. I'm richer."

Mich... always trying to be better.

"Your parents are," I conceded. "But why would I be concerned about money?"

"Oh right, you're a guy. Wallet size is not a consideration."

"Who is richer?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"I am. Tia's deadbeat job pays gets her close to nothing," she insisted, not realizing the context of my question.

"I meant-" I caught myself.

But she caught on. "Oh. You, I think."

I nodded.

"Smarter?" I continued in the context.

"Him."

"Handsome?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Him."

"Nicer?"

She thought about it.

If he doesn't even bother returning any of more messages, emails- I doubt even she can call that nice.

"You. But you're my best friend, being nice to me is like an obligation," she said after careful thought.

"That's nice," I smirked at her. "How does that score though. Does each category weigh the same... or..." I trailed as she started laughing.

"It may seem like a tie... But I met him first-"

"And that gives him an advantage?"

"Besides, does it even matter anyway, since neither of you are into me, anyway?"

I smirked.

"No, I guess not."

"Right."

Michelle

"I should cut my losses and move on," I said aloud to convince myself.
Nate nodded.

"But how do I do that?" I asked. "I don't have a friend that's just conveniently there-" I said.

He frowned at me. He thought I was referring to Tia.

"Don't discount Tia, Mich."

"I'm not. It's just awfully convenient though, isn't it?" I replied, instead of correcting him.

I can see that I struck a nerve.

"If you like her so much, why are you taking so long to court her?" I asked, expecting him to state me as the reason.

I see a thought crossed his mind.

"So is that what this is about? You want me to court Tia."

But it was the wrong thought.

"I do want you to court Tia," agreeing with him despite myself.

"Is it because you want us to be happy? Or is it because you want me off your back?" He asked.

I was about to answer but he didn't give me the chance.

"I accepted the fact that you don't and probably never see me as anything as a friend, Michelle." He continued. "I'm okay with it. You can stop feeling guilty now."

I pursed my lips.

No, it's not guilt I feel, Nathaniel. It's the lost of my convenient friend.

It's the fact that I lost the one that I had always counted on to care about and love me, despite everything.

I guess people can only take so much. Sometimes they just throw in the towel.

I should just throw in the towel, with or without someone there to catch me when I fall.



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