Life with(out) him

Chapter 10

Mira

My thoughts suddenly seemed to be full of Vikram. I couldn't believe that I had just sent him that text. But I had indeed meant every word of it. I had never forgotten anything about him or us. So was everyone right? It did not even take a day for my anger to melt away. I hated Radha for that. I decided to text her.

Me: I hate you.

But I was glad to have met her in life, she was my concrete pillar after Vikram left. After Vikram left! That got me back to my initial question. What exactly did everyone know that I didn't? Why were everyone so quiet when I talked about Anay uncle? And what did Vikram's cryptic reply even mean? I shook my head out as I realised these questions wouldn't be solved solely by my genius brain. And even though it indeed was genius it needed some answers to solve these questions. And so I decided to end the day when my phone started ringing. The screen displayed the name Radha. Wow! I was not ready to be humoured at. 'Hey!' And all I heard was endless laughter. 'You know what, send me an audio clip of this, it'll save time.'
'Save your time to do what?'
'What do you care? Unlike you I have tons of work to do.'
'Yes, I know. Like think about Vikram. And chat with him and talk to him. Right?'
'Radha! I wish you were here right now!'
'Uh-huh! I am not Vikram you know!'
'Oh please. I just do not want to waste my energy answering to your stupid endless nonsensical questions. Just an angry look would've saved me from all this.'
'Okay! I'm sorry. So how was lunch?'
That cheered me up to a whole new level. 'You won't believe it, Vikram got me a box of Ferrero Rocher.'
'Wow! And what did you have for lunch?'
'Well, mom had prepared an entire feast for Vikram. Everything on the menu was his favourite. My mouth is still watering thinking about the delicious food.'
'For someone who doesn't want to talk about Vikram, you sure do end up talking about him even when I try to change the subject for you'
She just left the conversation at that. I knew what she wanted to say but somehow I just let it be.

The next morning I woke up again to a no agenda day! I hated holidays. 'Mira!' my dad beckoned me for a small talk. What was this about now? 'What's on your agenda today?'
'A pretty tight schedule of nothingness!'
He narrowed his eyes at me, angrily I assumed, 'Dad! It is the summer vacations of school, I'm done with checking their papers, and the report cards are done! I have nothing to do, no one to teach until school reopens. And that doesn't happen till June!'
'I know that!'
'So why did you even ask in the first place?'
'He didn't, I did.' I turned around to find none other than the most handsome person my eyes believed him to be, Vikram.
'Geez! When are you going to stop doing that?'
'Stop doing what?'
'This!' He indeed was a terrific actor or he was actually dumb to not understand what I was referring to. I decided to go with the former. This was the second time in a row that he'd made an unexpected appearance in front of me. A pleasing one, but still unexpected. Speaking of unexpected he seemed to be taking it further by adding, 'We'll see you later uncle, aunty!' Being appalled might be an understatement to what I was at the moment, 'Excuse me, but did I just hear you say we?'
'You are a bit slow aren't you?' I didn't even bother to look at him at that. I was slow?! I did not need elaboration about that at this point but he didn't seem to care for he came nearer to me and whispered in my ear, 'I thought you wanted to hear everything out.' I don't even think I heard what he wanted to say apart from the shivers that seemed to pass down my entire body by his voice. And adding to that I made the mistake of looking in his eyes and lost myself in them. 'I take that as a yes!'

After walking for about God knows how much time I finally blurted out, 'Where are we going? I'm tired.' He turned to face me with a smile on his face, 'You do not have a thing for surprises in you do you?' Thankfully on a much serious note he added that he wanted to take me somewhere silent so we could talk peacefully undisturbed. Though I'm sure he did mean it the way it was said. Wait a minute, what was wrong with my mind!? Dirty piece of shit! 'There's a park right around the corner. I don't think it'll be crowded much at this hour.' We soon found a place to sit enveloped in shades of green. It felt cool and nice with warm breeze blowing intermittently. As if our minds tuned along the same thoughts Vikram voiced them, 'so where do you want me to begin?' It was the gentleness in his voice and the sincerity on his face that made me want to hear it all. 'Right from where it started going downhill. I want to hear it all Vikram.' I squeezed his hand lightly, as if assuring him that I was there to support him. I didn't know why but I felt the need to do that for some reason.

He looked me in the eye, his hand on my cheek and his voice ever so gentle ,'You were the closest to my dad and he did love you a lot so this might sound absurd and even hurt you but it is indeed true. And I'm sorry you have to hear it.' Now I was more curious than ever. And without further wait he took me back ten years ago to the fateful day - 'This was supposed to be a conversation between the two of them but somehow my ears got their voices and I couldn't hold my curiosity further. I was supposed to be in college at the time but I had decided to skip the last few lectures and had somehow found myself at home. And today I'm thankful I did. I heard my dad say he was leaving the house, he was leaving us. I wasn't sure why. For a guy of fourteen like every other child I always believed my parents were in love and everything was in harmony. But the reality wasn't so. Apparently he was in love with some other woman since their childhood and he was forced by his parents to marry Ma, because apparently that woman belonged to some lower caste or whatever it was, I didn't hear that part clearly. But he was never in love with Ma. After their marriage he tried to forget his past but in vain and somehow after fourteen years that woman magically appeared in front of him. And they realised they couldn't live without each other anymore and decided to elope. Ma was shattered. That man had chosen that woman over everything. I heard Ma cry, her voice breaking asking him to stay, and I couldn't be an audience any further. That's when I decided to step in. I stood in front of Ma and asked him to leave and never to step foot in the house ever again. I was the man of the family now. I had to take care of everything. The fourteen year old boy had to be replaced by a more matured, brave person who had to take care of the house, his mother and himself.' Unknowingly tears found their way out of my eyes listening to this. Vikram stood with his back facing me, probably trying to hide the pain, maybe even tears from me. I got up and realised I needed to do this, for me, him and us. I went and hugged him from behind. After about a minute or two, when his body seemed to relax a bit, he turned around and enveloped me in his arms tightly. 'I'm sorry Vikram, I didn't.. I just didn't know. I wish I did. Somehow.. I'd want..' I couldn't even manage to make a sensible sentence from the words that were stuttering from my mouth. 'Shh! That's all over now. We're here.' I jerked out of the hug, quite abruptly. 'Why did you leave without even meeting me? Did I not mean anything to you? I would've understood Vikram.' As if on cue, he held my hand, caressing the back of it lightly with his thumb. 'You were ten Mira. I didn't know what to do apart from the fact that I wanted to stick it to the man who hurt my Ma, to show him that I was brave, strong and courageous and that we did not need him. That's the only thing I knew at the time. Mira I couldn't face you. You wouldn't have let me go, I had to.' He put his hands on my cheeks stressing his point forward, 'You know I had to prove it to him. And you also know that I have always and will always love you. No matter what.' I opened my eyes at that. He actually said that? Was I hearing correctly? 'What did you just say?' He furrowed his brows together, surprise evident on his face, 'About what?'
'Right now Vikram!' I was being impatient now.
'Oh! I was just stressing on the point that I had to prove it to that man..' I started hitting him on his hands and his chest when he started laughing and pulled me into a hug, 'I said I loved you. I still do and always will.' I closed my eyes, a smile making its way on my face, 'Hmm, I've been waiting to hear you say it. I love you too Vikram.'
'You know Mira, this feels like home now!' He kissed me on my forehead and we stayed like that for as long as I remember.

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