It's Complicated

five-Chillin

It was hitting three and I wanted to head home to rest up for to night. "You sure you can't kick it for a little longer," he pleaded "I'm sure but we'll do this again real soon" he walked me to my car. I got in and he shut the door, "Get home safe" he said with a smile I returned the comment and drove off.

~~~~~~~~~

I got to the house and it was all picked up. Ma was in her room she hasn't been feeling well for the past few days. So I decided to cook her up a little something to eat and some tea to help her feel better. I cut up all the ingredients for chicken soup and put the burner on low.

Miles walked in a hour later with a soda in hand. "Damn what you chefin' up in here? Smells good" I smiled at the comment. "You know how I do" he tasted the broth and said it was good.

"Hey but I have a question for you" wiping my hands on a dish rag I leaned on the counter. "Shoot" it seemed like he was trying to word what he was going to say. " Have you... Ugh ever thought of taking our friendship further...just wondering?"

This was a bomb. I never expected this, as dumb as that sounds. Were close and we flirt but I thought that was normal, well that was our normal. When we went out and about everyone would say how cute we were, and how long we've been together. We would just laugh it off. I thought of it once or twice but I didn't want to bring it up though.

"I mean...I have.. But I don't want things to be awkward with us you know." "Yeah" he said standing headed to his room " it was just a question" and with that he shut the door.

I was going to go after him but left it alone not wanting to over think things. I finished the soup and made her some tea. I put it on a tray and knocked on her door peaking my head inside.

"Hey mama how ya feeling" I asked setting the tray down on her nightstand. "I made you some soup and tea it should make you feel better" "Thank you baby" she coughed "Sit down dear" I sat as she continued talking.

"..I'm not sure If any of the boys told you but I'm not to well.." a chill went down my spin and I knew something was up. As she got older she wasn't her energetic self. She stayed in watching tv. And when she did leave she was gone for days.

I felt my eyes water and she put her hand to my cheek wiping my tears. " please you can't leave me too" I said I heard the door crack but she motioned for him to leave.

"You know God calls his angles to come home. Just like he called your father and my late husband. Your like my daughter and I love you just as much as I love my boys. Just promises me one thing."

I looked in her pale face and nodded, "Miles has always been fond of you. More then you know my dear.. When that time comes please give his love a chance. I know you care for him in the same way. weather you admit to yourself or not."

I wasn't full comprehending her words it was ironic she even brought this up. I was still stuck on the fact that she was dying and everyone kept it from me. I said I promise and left the room so she could rest. I went to my room to change for my dinner date with Josh.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The dinner looked wonderful. He want all out, the candles were lite, the wine glasses full, next to the plates with spaghetti and meatballs on them with rolls in the middle if the table. For me this was going all out. Chance use to do this kind of stuff in the beging to show off. But soon his true colors showed and he stopped all together.

My mind was still heavy thinking of mama. Her and her husband welcomed me in there home. All the boys were like family to me. I loved the holidays with them they really made me feel at home.

Josh gave me a concerning look and placed his fork down gentle on the the napkin beside his plate. "What's wrong? You love my spaghetti but you've barely eaten any" I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

Expressing my feels wasn't one of my strong point's. "You know Miles mom is like my mom and I just found out she's really sick." I couldn't say dieing because I still haven't come to grips with it yet.

" Damn hun I'm sorry we can skip dinner if you want." I shook my head in agreement and went in his room, while he below out the candles and put the food away.

His room was a little different then the last time I was here a few years ago. It had a new paint job of gray and white with pictures of his tatted art work on the wall's. He came up hugging me from behind.

" You know I still got you night bag here with your favorite bath and body works shower gel and your black girl head wrap thing." He said in a innocent voice, he always knew how to make me smile. " Your so damn ignorant Josh you know I'm not even black" I giggled and he just shrugged his shoulders and handed me the bag with a smile.

I headed towards the bathroom down the hall and turned on the shower needing to clear my mind. I always did love the water, when ever I had a hard day a nice shower or relaxing bath calmed my nerves. I heard the door cracked and saw him in the reflection of the mirror.

"Can I join" he asked with pleading eye's. And I shook my head no and told him I wanted to be along. He understood and closed the door.

I finished my shower and hoped in bed putting my ' black girl scarf thing' on and he laughed. " why do you were that again" I eyed him wondering if he was joking. "Really? To keep my hair from breaking off and from losing moisture " I said while rolling my eyes.

"Relax I know I was just trying to get you to smile that's all." He said kissing my nose, this boy always knew how to lift my spirits. He continued to kiss on my face in a goofy manner until he got to my lips, and I pushed back.

"Not tonight okay?" He sighed "Fine but your staying up then and we gonna catch up on Empire. The season finally is tomorrow."I agreed to his silly ass and we watched Empire for the night.