When Lennon met Harry

Well that was a shambles

"No, this is important." Harry smiles at her disarmingly and she sighs but sits back in her chair.

"So..." Harry turns back to me.

I wrack my brains, trying to remember the hasty research I did last night. I wasn't too concerned, I figured most of the questions would be about my non-existent skills and I was planning on winging it.

"Um... No Control." I say quickly. I remember reading something about it being a favourite with fans.

"The song that represents you as a person is No Control?"

He's smirking at me and I realise he's figured out I know nothing about them. I sigh inwardly.

"No Control... Interesting choice." He bites the side of his lip and shoots me a wicked dimpled grin.

"Right then." Lydia says. "So, you got this interview based on a recommendation from Star Lovelace, which doesn't mean much considering you're her sister." She glances at the blonde woman who suppresses an eye roll. I guess that's Stars friend.
"The sort of assistant we're looking for should really have come through an agency and have real expertise in the business. How do you feel that you compare to such a candidate?"

"Well, although I'm fairly new to the industry per se, I do feel my time working with Spunknugget-" I ignore Harry's snort of laughter at the name, "-Really did give me preparation for working at a higher level. Obviously working for such a small band with few staff meant that I had to fill other roles and adapt as the situation required. For example, if there was problems with bookings-"

"But we aren't talking about touring with a college band, you're here to explain why you're suitable to work for one of the most famous men on the planet." Lydia frowns.

The blonde smiles at me kindly. I'm totally out of my depth. I only ever had one interview, for a job at McDonald's and I didn't even get that. How on earth have I ended up here?

"I think we're about done." Lydia smiles falsely.

"Each candidate gets a minimum of 15 minutes Lydia." The blonde speaks for the first time.

"Well what are we supposed to ask her? She's ridiculously under qualified. We might as well have dragged one of those screaming brats off the street." Lydia tuts irritably, referring to the group of teenage girls I'd seen on entering who were obviously hoping to catch a glimpse of Harry.

"Hey, don't talk about them like that. They're my baby girls." Harry frowns.

He looks at me and I'm struck again by how bizarre this is. There's a brief awkward pause before he smiles kindly at me and opens his mouth to speak.

"So we've got a few minutes to fill."

There's a silence before he speaks again.

"Skittles or maltesers?" He asks suddenly.

"For gods sake Harry, this is serious! We're trying to find-"

"We've got to fill the time!" He grins and I can't help but laugh.

"Harry, we're working to a tight schedule here, for once can you just-"

"Maltesers." I cut in and Lydia glares at me.

Harry shoots me the sort of grin that has broken a million teenage girls hearts. "Ok... You're named after one of the Beatles... What's your favourite Beatles song?"

"The Inner Light."

"Nice." He looks mildly impressed. "Not a well known one. I'd go with Blackbird."

"Hmmm." He thinks for a minute.

"Do you like marmite?"

"Yes."

"Urgh, that's gross. Leopard print or tiger stripe?"

"Leopard print."

"Converse or vans?"

"Converse."

"McDonalds or KFC?"

"KFC, what about you?"

"I don't eat processed sugar."

"That sounds incredibly boring."

He laughs and my face splits into a grin. Lydia looks exceptionally pissed off and that only adds to my happiness. At least I've got a decent story out of this whole thing.

"Ok." He looks at his watch. "Not long left... Hmmm. Teach me a joke."

"What?"

"Tell me a joke. If it's good I'll use it on stage, so at least you'll have got something out of this shambles of an interview."

I laugh, I can't wait to tell Glen about this.

"Ok... Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Europe."

"Europe who?"

"No, you're a poo."

He laughs loudly and I can't help but smile. This has been the strangest interview I could have imagined.

"Right." Lydia snaps. "Times up. Thank you for your time Miss Lovelace, we'll be in touch."

I stand slowly and walk towards the door, glancing back at Harry. I'll probably never again be so close to a famous person. I watch him but he's already distracted, looking down at his phone.

The blonde guy from earlier smiles at me as I open the door to the corridor.

"How did it-"

"Can you tell me where the nearest toilet is?" I cut in. "I'm desperate for a wee."