Autumn Leaves : Book 4 ( Chris Brown )

Chapter 50 ( Epilogue )

Btw , the 5th and final book is already up . It's called Forever

- Gabby

* Honey *

I fucked up . Everyone knows that . The entire world knows that I fucking up big time . I had lost the one friend that meant the most to me and like I said it was nobody's fault but mine . I didn't think about my actions before I did them . My whole world came crumbling down over just one impulsive decision . My own family doesn't even fuck with me anymore . When I say all I got is Chris and this baby . That's really all I mean . And to be perfectly honest I could almost feel Chris slipping through my fingers . I could see him almost losing it . I could sense his explosion . And if he does explode , it'll be my fucking fault . And guess what , I had to deal with this guilt and regret for the rest of my life .

I had to deal with this Forever .

* Chris *

Sorry couldn't even explain how I felt right now . Getting with Honey was the worst decision I had ever made in my life . I have no idea what possessed me to even look at Honey like that while being with Kyler . But I did . I can't take it back . I wish I could but I can't . And that's what frustrates me the worst . I couldn't fix it . Cheating on Kyler , see I fixed that . Getting other women pregnant multiple times , I fixed that . But cheating on her with her bestfriend and getting her pregnant , I couldn't fix it . I think I pushed Kyler past her limit . I underestimated her . And it was the biggest mistake of my life because I lost the love of my life and my children . My children .

And I had to live with the fact that there is a possibility I will never see my soulmate and my children for the rest of my life .

I have to live with that Forever .

* Kyla *

Me and Kyler have came a long way . We went from not even knowing we existed when we were teenagers to being the closest we've ever been . I'll admit , I felt some type of way that she was closer to Honey than she was to me only because I'm her sister and she's not . But Honey isn't in the picture anymore . And I'm the only adult friend Kyler has left . Which means I cannot do her dirty under any circumstances . I wouldn't do her dirty if she had all the friends in the world . It ain't that hard to stay loyal to someone . Lord knows I miss her and I don't even know when I'm gonna see her again . But I do know that I want to get out of Virginia . I don't care where we go . I just want me , Mijo , and Leah to pack and get a new start too . Anywhere . Any state . I could honestly I could say that life was amazing right now .

And I hope it stays this way Forever .

* Kyler *

I guess you could say this was my destiny . I don't think it's a coincidence that I ended up right where I started my life . I think my life was meant to be this way . My life is taking a total u-turn . Not only have I moved away from Chris and everyone I know and love back in Virginia . But I also took up a role I don't know if I'm capable of having . Being a father . Especially to Kade . Kade hasn't even really grown up with a father figure and I have to assume that role . I have to teach my daughters how to treat a man , which isn't hard because that's a mother's job . But teaching my son how to be a man , isn't my job . But I guess I just volunteered for it by taking the father figure out of their lives . I hadn't realized that I really was a single parent . I'm a mom and a dad . And I was nervous . What if my son turned out gay because he's surrounded by so many girls . I'd still support him but that's still devastating . And it pained me . Because guess who this all leads back up to . Motherfucking Chris . Christopher Maurice Brown failed to be a real man and a real husband to me . And for that he no longer gets to see his kids . I never thought I would do that . But I sure as hell am not leaving my kids with Chris because one way or the other , me and Chris had to be separated . We were supposed to grow old together , watch our grandkids together , die together . But he failed me and our kids . He broke me . He hit me where it hurts the most ..... in the heart . And there was nothing he could do to fix this . He hurt me more than anyone else ever has . I'd rather get skinned alive than to feel this heart aching feeling that I have right now . That man ruined me . And there was no comeback from this . I had to live with being a single parent for the rest of my life .

I had to deal with this pain , this heartbreak , this depression , this guilt , this anger , all this fucking baggage .........

Forever .

_________\\

OMFG . ITS OVER . THIS BOOK IS DONE . BUT PEEP THE 5TH BOOK . IDK WHEN ILL START UPDATING REGULARLY FOR THAT ONE BUT READ IT ANYWAY . I MIGHT CHANGE IT YOU NEVER KNOW .

ALSO PEEP THE PLAY ON WORDS I USED FOR THIS CHAPTER AND HOW IT TIES IN WITH THE NEXT BOOK .

But this book is finally done . And wow . I'm proud of myself .

LEAVE TONS OF FEEDBACK