Nineteen Ain't So Angelic Either

Decisions, Decisions

"I wanna go to Atlanta." Me and Kyla are in my room talking, I'm talking and she's watching TV. "I think it would be better if I told Spencer in person. Don't you think?"

"Mmhmm."

This bitch isn't paying me any attention she's watching Spongebob.

"Kylaaaaaa, what the fuck." She's really no help right now.

"Ugh I'm tryna get my sponge on and you're interrupting Ashley!"

"Well I'm asking you for advice." I need help bitch and you're not helping.

"Look." She says turning her head from the TV to look at me. "I think you should do whatever you feel is necessary to keep Spencer in your life because you love her and she loves you. You guys make each other happy and yes you keep fucking up but I know that you're sorry and that you don't mean to do some of the shit you do, you just gotta make Spencer see that."

"Ugh I just don't wanna go there and tell her this then she breaks up with me. I just need to prove to her that I won't fuck up again."

"If you make that promise Ashley you better keep it cause you can't keep hurting Spencer. You're gonna lose her and at one point she's not gonna come back and I know you can pretend that's okay and that you can live without her but we both know that's not true."

"Why are you so wise little sister?"

"You're three months older than me Ashley."

"You still are and will always be my LITTLE sister!"

"Whatever." Kyla says shaking her head. "I don't see how you let a 17 year old talk you into cheating. I just don't understand." She's laughing at me. There's nothing funny about this situation.

"Fuck you Ky."

She just smiles and starts back watching her spongebob. I love my little sister.

"Let's leave tomorrow." I tell Kyla getting up and grabbing my suitcase from the closet. Not really caring if she agreed or not I was already packing. I gotta find a way to tell my baby I fucked up and hope that she'll forgive me.

"Fine whatever, just shut up so I can watch spongebob please." And she wonders why I call her my LITTLE sister.

The next day

"Oh how great it feels to be back in Atlanta." I say as we step off the plane and into the crowded Atlanta airport.

"Remember what you're here for Ashley. I'm aware of all the hoe's you have on speed dial here." Lol at her saying 'hoe's'.

"Yeah yeah I got it bitch."

We rent a car from enterprise rental cars and head to our hotel.

At the hotel

"Ok, I'll be back in like an hour." I tell Kyla grabbing my keys and bag.

"Did you get the room right next to this one or across cause if you guys have make up sex I don't want to be able to hear it." Kyla shivers like the thought of hearing Spencer and I having sex was just that repulsive.

"Across bitch, its the same room we had our first time in. And don't pretend like you don't wanna hear it."

"Now that's just gross Ashley."

"Yeah yeah." With that I headed out. I had to get everything prepared for tonight. I need this to be perfect if I expect Spencer to even think about forgiving me.

After picking up the flowers, candles, and a few other things I headed back to the hotel to give Kyla the stuff to set up. After I drop off the stuff I head to go and pick up Spencer.

As I'm driving to go get Spencer my phones goes off. I see that I have a text from Josie.

'I heard you're in town. You're coming to visit me right?' WHAT THE FUCK! How could this bitch possibly know I'm in town. There's no way in hell. Can you say stalker. I don't even respond. I am not getting distracted and I am most definitely not fucking with Josie right now.

I pull up to Spencer's house, go up to the door and knock.

Spencer mom opens the door.

"Hey Mrs. Carlin, is Spencer home?"

"Hello Ashley, yeah she's up in her room. Hows the family and life in Kansas?" Spencer's mom is cool. She would be a great mother in-law.

"Everyone's fine. We're all just adjusting to living in a small city."

"That's good. You can just go on up."

"Thanks Mrs. C." I say as I make my way up to Spencer's room. I open the door and see Spencer lying on the bed with her back to the door listening to her Ipod, reading a book.

That's my nerd.

I walk up to the bed and sit down. The shift of the bed causes her to look back and she sees me.

Her face right now is priceless.

"Oh my God. Ashley baby." Spencer says practically jumping on my lap into my arms.

"Hey baby." I smile.

She's so cute.

"I missed you so much baby." Spencer says kissing me. Mmm. I missed her lips.

"I missed you too baby."

"Not that I'm complaining but what are you doing here?"

"I came to surprise you. I wanna take you somewhere. Can you come with me?"

"Ofcourse baby. Let me just go tell my mom."

So we're in the car now on the way to the hotel and my mind is racing. I'm so scared to tell her but I know that I have to.

We arrive at the hotel and head up to the room.

We walk into the room and Spencer of course is in shock like she didn't know I did shit like this.

"Is this?" Spencer starts but I already know exactly what she was gonna say.

"Yeah this is the room we had our first time in. I tried to make everything exactly how it was the first time."

"Oh Ashley, I love you so much!." She says kissing me.

As she's kissing me I'm tryna decide whether I wanna tell her now or after we have sex.

Calm down, I'm not that big of a douche. I decide now.

"Spencer baby." I say pushing her off me softly.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Lets go sit down baby." We go into the bedroom and sit on the bed.

"Ashley what's going on you're scaring me. Is this about the engagement cause if you're having second thoughts that's fine we can wait I..."

"Its not that baby." I immediately cut her off. I don't want her to think for one second that I don't love her or that I don't want to marry her.

"Then what is it?" The look on her face is killing me right now.

I take a deep breath to try and calm my nerves.

It's now or never.