Nineteen Ain't So Angelic Either

New beginnings

Introduction

How do you cope with losing the one person who pretty much made your life worth living?

Who's to decide when you should feel better about the situation?

Money... such a temporary fix of the problem. Yeah sure my dad left me a shitload of money but that money it came at the expense of his life... and I wish I could give it back if I could have him back.

I cried for a month. I wouldn't come out of my room.

My mom thought I wouldn't ever recover from losing him. I didn't either.

But somehow I started to put the pieces of my life back together and Spencer stuck with me through it, even though I tried on numerous occassions to push her away.

She stayed. And I really really appreciate that from her.

But then my mom decided that she didn't want to stay in Atlanta anymore. She said that the memory of him and this town kills her. She needs to get away and try and move forward with her life.

Married for 15 years and she wants to move forward with her life? Just forget about my dad?

So... we packed up everything and moved to Topeka, Kansas where she grew up.

Leaving behind all my friends.. and you guessed it SPENCER!

I know right? I'd just gotten her back and then my mom goes and does this.

Yeah I know I'm 19 and I could have stayed but my whole family went.

I had to go.

Spencer and I decided we would try the long distance thing. Because I love her and I do want to be with her.

So my mom bought a six bedroom house, which I guess was enough room. So we all moved back and for the sake of our mom we tried to get along.

Yes, even me and Aubrey.

So things are... going I guess.

Then... this happens...

"Kids I have something I want to tell you. I know it seems soon, and I'm not doing this to make anyone upset or hurt anyone because I know it takes time for wounds like this to heal..." My mom trails off.

She's been going out a lot lately. Nobody really knows with who or what she's doing but she's been doing something.

"Mom, what are you trying to tell us?" Adrian says standing up.

I think he's upset. He's raising his voice. I've never really seen him like this.

"Adrian, sit down sweetie." He does. "Look, you guys, you know I loved your father I wouldn't have married him if I didn't, but things happen and I didnt intend on this happening but it did..." She says and I can see tears building up in her eyes.

"Mom." I walk over to her. "Please don't say what you're about to say." I kind of beg her. Because at that moment I knew exactly what she was going to say.

She met someone.

"I met someone." She says and the tears that threatened to fall a few moments ago are now spewing out.

I back away from her.

I can't believe she's doing this. It's only been a month. A fucking month and she's already moved on.

"How can you have met someone? What the hell mom!" Adrian again. He's pissed.

Me too, actually. But instead of yelling at her or getting mad and saying something I know I will regret, I'm walking away, slowly.

"Ashley, sweetie." My mom tries. But no, she doesn't get to fix this or explain herself. I don't want to hear it.

Aubrey, Kyla, Anna, Jeffrey(Anna's now husband) and the kids are all quiet.

I turn and run up the stairs to my room and slam the door behind me locking it.

I can't believe this is happening. I can't breathe.

I fall to the floor and just cry.

Present time

"Why do we all have to go?" I ask my mom.

"Because this is a family breakfast and everyone is going. Plus don't you want to meet your future family?"

"Those people will never be my family." I assure her.

"Fine Ashley. Just come on or we're going to be late." She says walking towards the front door.

"Fine." I follow behind her.

Guess I'm going to meet the douche who took advantage of my mother in her time of grieving and his three kids.

Like this family isnt big enough already...