Note To Self: Never Chug Powdered Lemonade

Sunday, July 31st, 2011, Note To Self: Don't Lose What You Have

Dear Sir Larry Charles Richard the Third, AKA Sir Larry Charles Dick, AKA Larry Dick, AKA Larry,

This is it.

These are the last pages of you.

I apparently write and doodle a lot.

I only have room for this last note to self, and then I'm done.

I actually took time to read through my previous note to selfs, and I laughed. I can't believe I actually tried skateboarding drunk, and tried to mix a drink with ketchup in it, and I thought Ella was a good friend and I though Brodie would be the one and I thought Breanne was too quiet and nerdy and I thought Tiffany was awesome! I guess I never took the time to realise the best friends I can have are my family. I never even mentioned them. I guess that if I keep choosing friends over them, they'll be gone too. I don't want to lose anyone else.

I think Ella became so needy for guys's attention because she pushed her family away, and gave them the cold shoulder all the time. Then, they didn't give her any attention. I always kind of thought she was a bit of an attention seeker.

Brodie and Breanne always faught. They forced people to take sides, and had it so they couldn't share friends. Their fighting also pushed them away from their family. I think Brodie was also an attention seeker looking to feel loved, like Ella, and Breanne kept everything pent up, and then ripped on people when she felt it was appropriate.

Tiffany's parents hated her. They thought she was a slutty ass stuck up brat, which she is, and she knew. She only wanted to be loved too, so she made her self the easiest girl at school. She also didn't want any more haters, so she got people (Breanne) to do her dirty work for her.

I never realised how lucky I was to have a family that still loves me even though I've been pretty stupid in the past. My brother's don't hate me, well maybe Andie hates me and Maxwell because we always made fun of him for having a girl name, but I get along pretty well with Jame, and right now Maxwell is like me best friend. My parents are never home, but when they are they give us all of their attention. I think they realised that not being close to your family can cause people to turn out badly. I mean, Andie was never close to me or Maxwell, and Jame was too young to really know him, but he's been socially akward ever since and he's become desperate for love. Me and Maxwell have been friends and we've never had that problem, even though we aren't very likely to get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Everybody loves Jame, so he's fine.

I guess I just never realised that even though having to write in here is a pain in the ass, I'd rather keep my messed up life of no common sense, and a great family, than switch it for someone else's life. They say you don't know what something's worth until it's gone, but I think losing everythng else and just being stuck with family right now has taught me that I should appreciate what I have, and not wish for more. I never want to lose my family, because they will always be there for me.

I never thought I'd be as happy as I am right now, to wake up in my room, heartbroken and alone with nobody but Maxwell. I never thought that I'd appreciate being gifted, and that the common sense train missed it's stop at the Kaytee station. I never thought I'd appreciate all of the times I was told I was imperfect, or not good enough, because those times only made me stronger. I never thought that this journal would be the best thing ever for me.

Originally, I thought I was just going to write a note to self in my journal everyday, no story, nada, but I've actually had such a fun time reading these over, and learning why I shouldn't do them. I'm finished all of the pages in you Larry Dick, but maybe, just maybe, I'll go get a new journal. I've learned a lot, but I could always learn more.

I just realised how depressing this is, but I hate goodbyes. Larry Dick, you'll always be in my room, on my bookshelf. Don't worry, I wrote your name in your spine so I can tell who you are. I know I sound like a three year old talking to their teddy bear, but I don't want to lose all of the experiences I've had, and all of these stories I've told. Maybe if I show them to someone, they can publish them and make them a book, so everyone could learn from my mistakes!

Anyways, here comes the hard part,

As my tears fall onto the pages,

May my stories last for ages.

I never wand to forget you,

So I'll do anything that I have to.

Love Always,

Kaytee Justine Parsons, XOXXOOXOXOXO

P.S., I won't lose you. If the house catches on fire, I'll save you first =)