Maybe I Don't Want Heaven

Coming out

Troye's POV

I'm gay. Who knew that two words could ruin your life? I certainly did not. I was just fifteen years old when I came out to my parents. Although it wasn't as bad as some stories I've heard before, it didn't exactly go as planned.

"Mum, dad? C-can I talk to you?" I asked meekly, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Of course, sweetheart!" My mum told me, taking a seat next to my dad, who placed down the newspaper. I glanced down at my hands, picking at my nails and took a deep breath. My parents had always been supportive of my siblings and I, always helping us achieve our dreams. Exhaling I told myself it's now or never.

"There's something you need to know." I began, my throat locking. I tried to speak, but the words were unable to escape my mouth, my mouth as dry as a bone. When I was capable of producing them, they spilled out of my mouth like candy from a broken piñata. "Mum, dad, I-I like men, I m-mean boys, I mea- what I'm trying to say is that... I'm gay."

I looked down at the table, twiddling my thumbs underneath the table. I heard one of the chairs shuffle backwards and my heartbeat sped up. I heard footsteps and a door being closed. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and thought to myself; who was it? Who didn't accept my sexuality?

I looked up and saw my dad gazing at me with sad eyes. I knew he just pitied me, he probably didn't agree with my sexual orientation. Why couldn't they accept me for who I am? Why couldn't I just be straight? Why did I have to like guys? My dad placed a hand on my arm and squeezed it as a reassurance.

"Your mum is just upset, Troye." He sighed. "She is very strong about religion, you know that."

I stood up, shaking my father's hand off my arm and muttered a small 'forget it'. I blinked rapidly as a desperate attempt to hold back my tears. I made my way out of the kitchen and to the stairs but I am stopped by my ten-year-old sister, Isabelle.

"Troye!" She called. "Troye! Tyde took my paints!"

Tyde is my other brother, Isabelle's twin. I had another brother, Steele who was seventeen and a sister, Sage who was thirteen. I sighed and took her outstretched hand. She pulled me downstairs and into Tyde's room, where my brother sat on his bed.

"Tyde, give your sister her paints back!" I yelled quietly, not to anger my mum any further. He rolled his eyes, like the rebellious child he is and got up grumpily. I saw him grab the paints and shove them into Isabelle's chest but my attention was taken by the sounds of vomiting and retching. I whipped around and made my way towards the source of the sound.

I found myself in our bathroom, my sister, Sage bent over the toilet, trying to hold back her hair. I reached forward and pulled her hair out of her face. She groaned and leaned back against the wall, wiping her blood-covered mouth, which worried me slightly.

"Sage, are you alright?" I asked, concerned for her health. She shook her head meekly, sweat and tears rolling down her face. Her face paled and her eyes rolled back, slipping into unconsciousness. "Mum! Dad! Quick!"

Right then, all I cared about was my sister's health. I had no care that my mum had basically just shunned me for my sexual orientation; my little sister was my number one priority. I cradled her in my arms as my parents rushed down the stairs followed by my three curious siblings. I heard my mum gasp and stepped back to let my dad pick up Sage. He rushed upstairs and out the door, followed by my teary-eyed mum.

{~-~}

I lay in bed later that evening, staring up at the ceiling. I heard the door slam and the cries of my mum. I heard my dad condoling her but I couldn't hear my sister's voice and instantly grew concerned. I ripped the duvet off my small frame and sprinted upstairs. I looked towards my mum with questioning eyes but immediately shrunk back when I saw her own gleam with anger.

"How's Sage?" I squeaked, regretting it when I saw her nostrils flare.

"It's all your fault!" She glowered. "It's your fault she's in the hospital!"

"Laurelle, calm down." My dad whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No, I will not calm down! It is his fault that our daughter has cancer!" She yelled, shrugging his hand off her shoulder. "God is punishing us for his sins!"

My baby sister had cancer? Tears welled up in my eyes and I turned away, ready to run to my room, when I came face to face with my younger sister; Isabelle. She stood in the doorway, wide eyed, fear written on her face. She ran towards me and hugged my torso, well tried. My mother was having none of it, ripping my sister away from me.

"Get away from him!" She growled, holding Isabelle by the wrist, obviously hurting her.

"But mum!" She moaned.

"No 'but's, Isabelle, stay away from him!" She screamed.

That was the turning point for me. Storming away, I wiped a stray tear furiously from my cheek. Was it really my fault my sister had cancer? Was God taking her away from us because I was gay?

What do you think? This is the first update of my new book, 'Maybe I don't want Heaven.' I will be updating this book every Monday and Friday as it has been mostly pre-written. I really hope that you all enjoy! ~ LuciaDowney1611