Eight Days In London

Golden Love

After my trip back from Chatham I arrive back in London around ten at night walking inside my apartment building on twenty-nine Rosary.  I walk up the flight of stairs going inside the apartment getting ready for the journey home tomorrow.  I called Isabell’s mobile phone as Ronny picked up and I told him that I made it safely saying farewell one last time.  Afterward I began to pack so I can be ready in the morning. After I was done packing it was thirty minutes pass ten as my apartment phone began to ring. 

I answer it “hello?”  “Grinny…” There was a pause as I knew it was Abbey calling, but the tone in voice sounded sorrowful.  “Abbey, I was worried about you today…” I said.  There was another pause “Grinny, I’m standing outside your apartment building I need to talk to you please…” she said.  “Sure, just a moment I’ll be down” I replied. “Ok…” she answers as we disconnected the call.  I went downstairs opening the door seeing Abbey standing there. 

“Hey…” she said after I opened the door.  I look in Abbey’s eyes seeing there was something she had to tell me but didn’t want to.  “Hey… What’s going…? I have a bad feeling in my heart this won’t be good….” I answered. “It’s just…” Abbey takes a moment taking a deep breath “I wish I could talk loud… but I can’t…”  “Come on let’s talk in my apartment” I said letting her in. 

Abbey didn’t say anything as we walked up to my apartment. I sat on the bed as Abbey sits next to me.  She couldn’t talk as she couldn’t look at me at first.  “Abbey, what’s going on? I wish you could talk to me…”  Abbey looks at me “it’s just I have a lot going on in my life at the moment… And I’m also really worried about my mum… she’s getting mentally ill… My dad told me… and I don’t think… I have time for a relationship… it’s just so much stress… There’s seriously no other guy in my life… I don’t have time for guys I need to concentrate… On other things at the moment and Keith…” Abbey pauses stalling as she stares into my eyes.  “You deserve someone who will give you true love back…"

I froze trying to take in what she was telling as it took a while for everything to sink in. “You… don’t truly love me is that what you’re saying?” I asked.  Abbey couldn’t answer my question she stayed silent as I saw a tear coming down her cheek.  “But why?” I ask her not knowing what else to say.  “I don’t know… I just don’t feel it… In my heart like you do… I thought I did… I do have feelings for you… And I can’t concentrate on having a relationship at the moment I need to worry and focus on other things… And it’s not like you live locally… You live all the way in Ohio… I don’t have the time… I need to be there for my mum… And focus on my degree.” 

“Abbey if you have so much going on in your life I’ll wait for you no matter how long it takes for you to get things right and I’m right here to help you and support you. I love you that much I’d wait forever for you…” Abbey objects to what I said “but you deserve someone… Who will love you like you love me…”  “Abbey you just need time I’m not going to force you but…” I couldn’t finish my sentence for I couldn’t believe this was happening. 

“I just can’t… I love you… can’t you see?” I said to her.  “Keith I’m scared… I won’t feel this way even after time… And I don’t want you to wait for me you deserve so much better…” There was silence in the room not even a sound.  “You’re so far away…” finally said Abbey breaking the silence.  “Abbey it won’t take me long to get back to London…” 

“Keith… it’s not going to work.”  “Please don’t give up I know I can’t force you but…”  I was having trouble finding what I needed to say. “I don’t feel strongly enough for you…” finally said Abbey.  I felt defeated and soon lost feeling my heart shattering like glass.  “Abbey…” I said.