CHAPTER TWO: TAKE OUT

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It hasn't even been three weeks and Gwen was ready to give up with high school. Everyone has told her that senior year was supposed to be easy. Senior year was supposed to be the year of freedom, the year to leave campus at lunch, the year to have few academic classes. For Gwen, everything was on the flipside. With all her AP classes, she's already had one test and another one scheduled for two days. She didn't know what she was thinking. She's always loved school. She's always been a good student, academically and behavior wise. Now she's starting to see why Emma calls her crazy. Not to mention the two clubs she is in and her volunteer work. Now that school has started, she has no time for herself. She's as stressed out as her parents endlessly seem to be.

School wasn't fun anymore. She had no classes with her best friend, Emma. She only saw her at lunch and even then one of the two were talking to other people or helping them with some sort of problem. There was no time for anything, but school. Her daily routine was the same every single day. School, after school club meetings, and then volunteer work. By the time she got home it would almost be eight at night. Then there was unfinished homework assignments that needed finishing and tests to be studied for and projects to be completed. School was enough stress, but then she has to go home and listen to her parents argue. She doesn't understand what there is left to argue about. They've been arguing for so long she figured they were arguing over simple matters now such as who was going to wake up first, who was going to shower first, what was going to be for dinner. It seems like there is nothing big to argue about anymore. And on top of the arguing, there is the expectations her parents have for her. It's not because they don't believe in her. It's because Gwen knows that her parents feel like they failed with her brother. Farrell's only twenty years old. In two short years, Gwen will be that age. And still, she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. She just wants to be happy. She wants to do something that she loves. The only problem? She doesn't know what she loves.

She doesn't play any sports. She doesn't have a boyfriend. She doesn't have a job. And she isn't interested in anything but keeping her grades up. Eventually she will run out of homework assignments and be left with nothing to do. Her parents want her to take up a sport, but sports have never been Gwen's thing. The school psychologist says that picking up a hobby would also be a good thing to not only focus on, but also to relieve stress, and even figure out what it is she wants to do in life. But every time, she has ignored them. She's ignoring everyone. School is starting to drain her energy. Her home life is nothing but hiding away in her own room and Farrell's. Gwen just hoped the rest of the year would get better. Gwen ultimately wished for things to go back to normal.

That Thursday night, after Gwen was done with her weekly volunteer work, Farrell brought take out home from the local chinese buffet. Together they sat on Farrell's bedroom floor, silently eating their food. Gwen didn't know what to talk about, so she simply said nothing.

"How's school so far?" Farrell asks, breaking the treacherous silence.

"It's school," Gwen answers, shoving fried rice into her mouth.

"Why do you say that?" He asks, setting his chopsticks down.

"What am I supposed to say?" She asks, taking another spoonful. She's never eats with chopsticks for she never could hold them right.

"I don't know. School's great. I love my classes. My friends are great. My favorite class is English. Don't just say it's school. Is everything okay?" He asks.

"Everything is most definitely not fine," Gwen blurts, setting her spoon down.

"Care to explain?" Farrell pushes.

"I don't know. I just, I don't like school right now. I hate all my classes. I never have time for myself. Clubs are time consuming. And volunteering at the clinic just wipes me out completely. And then here, I don't know. It's all just very stressful," she explains.

"When you say here do you mean home?" Her brother clarifies. Silently, Gwen nods her head. He continues, "don't let it get to you. They are just sorting over a few things. It'll pass."

That's what I said a month ago, Gwen thinks to herself. She pushes her box of food away from her and stretches her legs. Her brother could tell she was not herself. He didn't know what to do, other than go over and comfort her.

"Farrell," Gwen begins.

"What?"

"Was high school fun for you?" She asks, picking at her nail polish.

"Well of course it was fun. I mean, I played baseball, basketball, tried track once or twice. Had great friends. I didn't worry about grades," he reminisces. She glares at him. "Okay, okay, I get it." The two sat on the floor silently for a long time.

Finally, Farrell broke the silence. "You can't worry about everything so much. Just learn to let things go." He cut off her rising protests. "Just try it okay? If you don't have your homework done, who cares? It's a completion grade for two points. It won't drop your grade from an A to a F. You're such a model student your teachers should understand. Besides, you have a lot on your plate right now. You're looking at some colleges still, volunteering, and still joining clubs. Teachers will understand. It's not like you are going to fail a test," he explains. He was right, she does worry too much about a lot of things. And if Farrell is right, if not caring about certain things will relieve some of her stress, then she's willing to give it a try. She went to bed an hour later feeling a little sense of peace. And as she focused on the peace and tranquility that was creeping to the front of her mind, she drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

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