Murder Mayhem

Chapter 6

October 25, Dean's favorite day of the year. It's not a holiday, more like an anniversary, or even better, a birthday. The birthday of Cain and the anniversary of the first murder he committed.

The body wasn't found until three days later, so many people count October 28 as Cain's anniversary.

Dean calls off of work and doesn't contact anyone. His phone is turned off.

He pulls out a book, not just any book though. This book holds the obituary for each victim. Each year on this day he pores over the faces of his previous victims, remembering the moment of their deaths. He flips through the pages in loving memory.

Jo Harvelle, she was a fighter. She did not go down quietly, even after she got stabbed in the stomach. Dean killed her because she cheated on her husband.

Azazel, he kidnapped kids. He was a tough son of a bitch to get alone. But Dean finally got him.

Crowley McCloud, made deals that often led people to death or very well near it. Dean found out and killed him, nice and slow too.
All of these deaths meant something, each one has a reason.

This is the day Dean remembers the things he's done. A day all alone to his thoughts.

After poring over the book for an hour, he grabs his keys and the book and leaves his apartment.

His car starts with a purring roar. He caresses the book, which is sitting in the passenger seat.

He drives to the nearest park, which happens to be the place he killed his first victim, Metatron he was the biggest backstabbing dickwad Dean had ever known. He betrayed Sam and Dean many times before Dean snapped. After careful planning Dean followed him to this particular park and killed him. After that Dean couldn't stop.

He parks his car and takes a walk around the park, lingering particularly close to the spot of the murder.

Dean relived the murder in his mind, remembering the look on Metatron's smug face as he choked on his own blood.

After the park he walks to the next murder site. Dean continues to walk to each place letting the memories wash over him.

He hesitates at the alley way he met Alastair. This is the place that led him on the path to Cas. If he hadn't walked this way that night, he may have never met Cas. Hell, Cas may not even be here now. Dean is reluctant to say it, but he's glad he met Cas. Though he's afraid to admit it, he is starting to fall in love with the blue eyed man.

Dean ends his walk back at the park. The walk had taken nearly all day and Dean is quite hungry now. He gets back in his car and drives back to his house. As he slams his car door shut he is ambushed.

"Oh my God, you're okay." A voice murmurs into his shoulder.
"Cas, what are you doing here?" Dean growls lightly.

"I was so worried. I called this morning but it went straight to voicemail and I came here and you weren't home. I kept calling and you wouldn't answer. Sam didn't know where you were and I thought something terrible had happened." Cas rambles, his eyes flooding with tears.

"As you can see, I'm fine. No need to worry." Dean grabs his face, looking him in the eyes.

"What if Cain had gotten you. I wouldn't be able to handle it." Cas sniffs.

"Cas, baby, I'm fine. Let's go inside and eat, I'm starving." Dean leads Cas into the house. Even though he spends this day alone, he's okay with this slight change-up.

Cas helps him make cheeseburgers and onion rings. And they eat happily. Part of Dean thinks that if he was impulsive, Cas would have been one of his victims. This moment would not be happening. Cas would be just another face in his book.

They end up in Dean's bedroom, cuddled together on his bed.

"So where were you all day?" Cas asks.

"Out and about, I was having a day to myself." Dean shrugs.

"I was really worried. You couldn't have called or let me know?"

"I'm sorry, I should have thought." Dean apologizes. "I'm not used to having someone care this much."

"Well get used to it, cause when I love someone I care very much." Cas pauses when he realizes what he said.

"You love me, huh?" Dean smirks.

"Well if you don't, I mean if you, um," Cas stammers.

"Well it's a good thing, cause I happen to love you too." Dean smiles. Cas smiles in relief and kisses Dean earnestly. He pulls away.

"What's the matter?" Dean asks noticing Cas' look of doubt.

"I have slight trust issues. In high school, before I realized I was gay, I thought I loved this girl. I lost my virginity to her. I thought she loved me, but I realized she lied. She used me for homework, and it hurt me. Meg Masters was her name. I never forget it. Now I realize I didn't love her, what I loved was the attention she gave me. But it still hurts."

"Baby," Dean caresses Cas' face. "I love you. I told you before and I'll say it again. I will not hurt you." Dean pulls Cas towards him. They make sweet love through the night.