Enemies With Benefits (formerly written by Tristxnnn_)

9. Pains & Questions

Songs for the chapter:

Heaven by Beyoncé

I Miss You by Beyoncé

Last night, Surina, Aaron, Tatiana, Olive, and I all went out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate Surina and Aaron's engagement. The restaurant was dimly light, the lights giving off a light glow as soft classical music played. To say it was expensive would be misleading. The cheapest damn thing on the menu was breadsticks... which was twenty fucking dollars.

To say the least, I didn't hesitate to order the most expensive thing on the menu since Aaron was paying.

After we ate and toasted, which I toasted with a sparkling water because when I tried to order champagne the carded me, insert straight emoji face, they all decided to go to a club to which I denied because I had something very important to do the next day.

Which brings me to today...

The day that nobody wants to come.

The day that everyone dreads when it comes around each year.

My dad's birthday...

It's not like we don't want to celebrate it, we do... we just want to celebrate it with him. But we can't.

The closest we can get to celebrating it with him is by going to gravesite, where we set up a picnic with his favorite sandwiches, peanut butter and banana's, and drink Sunkist... it's all we've got left.

I was currently finishing my makeup when my brother came knocking on my door. He peeked his head in to see if I was ready, to which I nodded and got up from the stool, and walked over to my bed and picked up the flowers they were laying there. I picked out the flowers a few weeks ago and picked them up yesterday from the floral store downtown. It was a mix of pink and white flowers with ferns placed in them.

I had on a white sun dress with some lace covering it, and my dad's necklaces he gave me. My hair was braided away from my face and pulled up in the back which made it look short if you were looking at me from in front.

I followed Derek, who had on some cargo shorts, and peach colored polo that looked really good on and against his tan skin, and a pair of those Sperry things that fuck boys wear... not that my brother was a fuck boy, oh who am I kidding, he is. We got to the bottom of the stairs were my mom stood dresses in a dark green jacket and pants, black fitting shirt and khaki bootie heels, that matched her MK bag and MK watch. My mom was pretty stylish...

We all walked to the car, Derek getting in the driver's side and my mom getting in the passenger seat, placing her bag in her lap and putting her sunglasses over her eyes. We rode to the cemetery in peace, no one saying a word the entire trip.

We parked the car, no one making the first move to get out. This is how it was every time. We would wait until my mom was ready. Not before, and not after.

After a few minutes, she shakily sighed and nodded her head, Derek popping the trunk and all us opening the doors to get out. Derek went around and got out the basket and blanket, then met me at our mom's side where me both grabbed each of her hands in ours, and started the walk to the grave.

The closer we got, the tighter her grip got, the shakier her breath got, the slower her walking got, the more sniffling she made, and the heavier her breathing got.

Once we got the grave, we stood there, waiting for her say to let her go and set up the picnic. She let out a breath, a tear cascading down her cheek from underneath her sunglasses, tears brimming my eyes as I stood there, watching this strong woman I love break down, and the missing of my dad. She nodded, me and Derek letting go of her. I stepped forward and placed the flowers in the holder we had, as Derek set up the blanket.