haven't been caught | l.h.

nine

Elsa's POV

I ran.

I ran so fast.

I ran so fast I couldn't see my feet beneath me.

I ran so fast, I didn't even notice that I was standing at Luke's doorstep with my finger on the doorbell.

"Elsa! Hey!" Luke said happily until he saw that I was crying "Oh my god, what's wrong?"

"Is Ashton here?" I asked

"He went to pick up dinner, but come in, can I get you anything?" He questioned as he let me in and I sat down on the couch

"Um, a glass of water, please?" I said quietly

"Yeah, no worries. Guys! Elsa's here!" He walked into the kitchen

I sat back into the couch, trying to calm myself down. I couldn't stop crying, which was making me shake, and the shaking was going to lead me into a panic attack.

"Here's your water," Luke handed me the glass and sat beside me

I nodded as a thank you, since I felt I couldn't talk. I stared at the glass, hoping that maybe the stillness of the water would calm me. But I ended up shaking so badly that I almost spilt the glass. Luke took the glass from me and set in on the table, wrapping one his arms around me.

"Shhh, it's okay." He kissed the side of my head.

That only made me cry harder for some reason.

"Elsa, don't cry.." He soothed, holding me tighter.

I nuzzled myself into his chest and cried as hard as I could. I've been holding this in for nearly ten years, and now it's horribly spilling over me.

"I'm sorry," I cried "I just can't stop."

"It's okay, you don't have to apologize." Luke ran his fingers through my hair

"Hey, I'm back- Elsa?" Ashton walked through the front door "Ellie what's wrong?"

Ashton set the bag of food down on the coffee table, and pulled me out of Luke's arms into his own.

"I, I saw dad." I sobbed into Ashton's chest

"I'm sorry, what?" Ashton questioned as the other boys walked into the room

"Just promise you'll let me explain without getting mad," I said quietly as I started to calm down "And let me pace. I need to pace."

Pacing is something I always do when I'm upset. The movement somehow calms me down.

"Okay, explain, and pace." Ashton let me up and I began pacing around the living room as the boys started to eat the takeout he brought.

"So, after you and I got into that argument, I was irritated. I was very irritated with you, Ashton. So I asked Sabrina if we could do a pick up - yes boys, a weed pick up - and so we did, like we always do!" I don't know why, but for some reason: I was angry. "We do those pick ups every fucking week! But this once, just this fucking once, Sabrina runs a red light! Do you know how many times I've ran red lights and never gotten caught? Okay, maybe like five, but still! We got pulled over and the cop saw the weed and we got arrested. Good girl Elsa Nicole Irwin went to jail! So we get there, and Uncle Leo is there, and I'm like okay shit I can call dad and he'll definitely get me out of here without potentially murdering me like you or mom would, you know? So Sabrina has the audacity to get mad at me for calling dad, as if she knows the first thing about having him as a dad. She knows nothing! But anyway. So dad gets me, and he offers lunch, and I'm like okay maybe this could be good. But no, he decides to tell me about his new wife and his new daughter, and you know what?" And here comes the tears again "I'm so fucking jaded. Because that little girl has the father I never had. And she will always have him."