Eternal || Elijah Mikaelson

LXIV - First Sight

"Do you think that you loved him?" she asked.

For someone that claimed to not know a lot about love, she sure can tell when someone feels it.

I bit my lip. I didn't really know what to tell her. How can I explain how I feel, when I'm not even sure myself?

"I think... There's two kinds of love. There's true love, the good kind. You fall in love over a span of time. And then there's love at first sight. That's the bad kind," she raised a brow at that. "Because the second that you lay eyes on them, you're screwed. Everyone you think you love is just a distraction, because in the back of your mind, you still know that that person is the only one you will ever really love."

"You had love at first sight... Didn't you?"

I nodded. "Yes. I think that we did. But both of us never really felt it until a century ago when I had to leave him behind. And now, it's finally showing itself. I can feel myself caring about him in a way that I didn't a year ago."

"Do you love him?"

"To be honest, I'm not entirely sure."

"I think you do love him," she said. "You just don't know it yet."

*

It was far too difficult to get to sleep. Every single time that I even tried, I could feel the stake in my chest. It was burning me from the inside out, and apparently, I was have flashbacks from it.

Eventually, I just gave up and went to the couch in front of my bed. I sat in front of the fireplace, watching the flames dance in a futile hope that it will help me fall asleep.

"You almost died today..." I heard him say from the doorway.

I turned to face him, and saw that he was pale. He hadn't slept tonight. Just like me.

"I'm alright, Elijah. You don't have to worry," I told him, as he walked over and sat down beside me.

"That right there, is the problem," he said, moving slightly closer to me, but keeping his distance. "You tell me not to worry, but it appears that, no matter what, I always will."

"I can't die," I said, sending him a soft smile. "Mikael is the only real threat, and even when he had the chance, he failed."

That doesn't mean I won't stop worrying about you, Rose," he said, swallowing. He looked me up and down, as if he was afraid that there was some unseen injury. "I will always defend you from whatever demons plague you. I promise you that."

"Elijah, as long as you're around, those demons aren't even in my thoughts."

The corners of his lips went upwards ever so slightly.

"You should get some rest, Roseia," he said.

"I could say the same for you."

"Yes, well... I didn't have a near death experience today."

"I told you, Elijah. I'm fine."

"Rose, just admit it. You are exhausted. And not just from lack of sleep. For once in your life, please stop trying to make everyone think that you're alright when you clearly are not," he said, almost begging me to say what was really on my mind.

"I just... Can't help but wonder if this is all my life will ever be."

He stayed silent, so I continued.

"I love all of you, and I want to protect you above all else, but I just wish I knew... Is this just an endless cycle? Someone new tries to kill us every single month. Will we never truly be happy? Do we not get a say in the matter?" I sighed, shaking my head as I looked down at my hands, then up at the flames. "Is Rebekah right? Are all of us truly broken beyond repair?"

"You will always have a say," he said from beside me, making me turn away from the fireplace to look at him. "No matter what, you will always be able to choose what to do in your life. I promise you that. I will give you a choice right now."

I furrowed my brow at him, and he continued.

"You can stay here with us, or you can leave and return when the child is born... Or not return at all, if you wish."

He looked down at the fireplace, an emotionless look on his face. His expression was hiding his emotions from me, but his eyes told a different story.

He didn't want me to go. But he didn't want me to be unhappy while I stayed either.

I knew what I wanted. So I reached down and took his hand in mine. He looked at our entwined fingers, then up at me in surprise.

"Elijah, at this point, I couldn't leave you even if I tried," I told him.

He swallowed, like he didn't expect me to say anything close to that, and was shocked by the answer. But then he just... Smiled. He gripped my hand a little tighter, then reached over and pulled me closer to him.

I laid my head on his shoulder, and he held me close He put his arm around me, holding me flush against him. I listened to his breathing begin to soften, and knew that he had fallen asleep.

I picked up his other hand and held it in mine, intertwining our fingers. The simple action brought so much comfort to me.

Maybe Hayley is right. Maybe I do love him.