golden boy ✩ mashton ☑️

Prologue: Pilot

He was itching for a release, anything to make him forget about the pain he felt for a little while. Anything to quiet the noise of his parents fighting. He just wanted to feel numb, and the only way to do that was to hurt himself.

Ashton pulled back the covers of his bed and made his way into his ensuite, opening the cabinet and grabbing out his hidden blade. Just as he was about to press it to his skin, he heard a thud, making him jump slightly and drop the blade on the tiles.

Breath hitching in panic, he looked up and saw his next door neighbour Michael Clifford, on his balcony. As the coloured haired boy opened the balcony doors and walked inside, Ashton bent down and tried searching around for the missing blade, cursing under his breath.

"What are you doing here?" Ashton asked, clearly annoyed.

"I heard your parents fighting,"

"Whatever, just go home. It's late." Michael sighed and bent down, his knee landing on the blade and he picked it up. Ashton froze, tears threatening to spill but he couldn't cry. He just couldn't.

"I saw what you were going to do.. I'm glad I got here in time," Michael spoke sadly.

"Look, you can't tell anyone. Please. I just- you don't understand."

"I'm not gonna tell." Michael said honestly. "And I do understand, really. I just never thought.. like- you're Ashton Irwin," Ashton squeezed his eyes shut, not liking what he was insinuating.

"Just go home. I wanna be alone." Ashton lied.

"I'm not going anywhere." Michael said, handing him the blade because if he didn't he would have went insane. "Get some clothes, you're staying at mine tonight." The curly-haired boy smiled timidly, standing up and hesitantly putting his blade back in the cabinet before grabbing a few clothes and his concealer to hide the bags under his eyes at school the next day.

The only plus side to getting whatever you wanted was that Ashton asked for a ladder attached to his balcony so that he could sneak out whenever he wanted. Of course his parents didn't ask questions about that, they didn't care enough.

The boys jumped the small fence separating their houses from each other and went by Michael's bedroom window. Considering Ashton's family had more money than Michael's, Ashton's house was two story whereas Michael's was only one.

The curly-haired boy thought Michael's house was comforting, although he wouldn't tell him that. The small house was cozy and he liked it far better than his own. His house got lonely when no one was there, it was just too big for his liking.

Michael closed the window when they both got inside and Ashton looked around at the familiar bedroom. He's only ever been to his house a few times when his parents' fighting was to much to bare. It seemed every time his parents fought really bad, Michael always came running.

"Um, you can have the bed. I'll take the floor." Now if Ashton was snobby, he'd definitely make the owner of the bed sleep on the floor. But he really isn't. It's Michael's bed, therefore he should have the right to sleep in it.

"It's your bed, you should sleep in it. I'll be okay on the floor." Ashton insisted, surprising Michael.

"Oh, I just thought-"

"You thought that I'm such a snob I'd make you sleep on the floor while I took your bed, right?" Ashton suggested, crossing his arms.

Michael hesitated. "I'm sorry,"

"Don't worry about it. It's happened so many times that I've actually lost count." Ashton chuckled halfheartedly. After Michael got Ashton some extra blankets and pillows, the two settled down and chatted until they both eventually dozed off. Ashton only remembering one particular thing Michael said before he fell asleep.

"You're not the golden boy they think you are.." In some cases, that might've sounded mean but to Ashton, that's the best thing he's heard for a long time.

_

"Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living!" Luke sang whilst laying on the ground with his legs spread. Calum looked towards him with eyebrows quirked, seeing him doing these weird sit ups that made him look like a complete idiot.

"Has anyone ever told you you're not the smartest pea in the pod?"

"Will you shut the fuck up? I'm trying to sing Dolly Pardon!" Luke snapped and Calum looked at him in amusement, grabbing his school bag and walked out of his bedroom, Luke quickly getting up and following behind him. The boys walked to school, considering Calum's parents work in the morning and he didn't have his own car.

He didn't mind, he actually preferred to walk. Luke on the other hand, hated walking. Calum was actually considering slapping him just to make him shut up and stop complaining. He didn't know how Luke was in shape, the boy was lazy as hell and his legs were still damn fine.

Yes Calum thinks his legs are fine. He honestly didn't care what people thought of him, he didn't like labels. Labels were for jars not people. He was Calum Hood and it didn't matter if he had a crush on a boy, or a girl.

As the two boys walked across the road in the school parking lot, Luke shrieked, instinctively grabbing onto Calum's arm when hearing the sound of a car screeching. You'd think that Luke would run off the road instead of standing there but like Calum said, he wasn't the smartest pea in the pod. Calum's mouth dropped, seeing Ashton was the driver of the car.

Ashton looked at Calum and Luke with a panicked expression and than looked at Michael who was looking at him, terrified and holding on for dear life. Calum was still standing in the middle of the road, like a deer caught in headlights until Luke started tugging at his arm.

Ashton watched as Calum and Luke rushed off the road, jumping when hearing people beeping their horns behind him. Ashton quickly found a park and pulled over, pretending as if nothing happened and Michael was just wondering what the fuck just happened.

When Ashton got inside, him and Michael departed and he smiled his gorgeous smile that made everyone swoon. Some girls giggled, Ashton waving at them causing them to blush. Ashton forced a smile at everyone who said hi to him, than made a turn into the boys bathroom.

Ashton let out a breath, holding onto the sink for support and looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were glassy and bags were prominent. He splashed water on his face, wiping it off with a paper towel and grabbed his concealer out of his bag, applying it under his eyes.

After taking another look in the mirror, he nodded in approval thankful that he looked more alive and exited the bathroom. He honestly didn't know what just happened. It was like his brain switched off and back on again when he saw Calum walking across the road.

The point was, he could have ended two people's lives due to him being a dick head and not paying attention to his surroundings. He needed to learn to pay more attention, or else one day he could really hurt someone other than himself.

If Ashton hurt someone, he could never live with himself anyway. Especially if the person meant a lot to him. The curly-haired boy let out a half hearted chuckle, remembering he didn't have any real friends and didn't really have anyone that was special to him. Well, other than Michael.

He didn't know if him and Michael were classed as friends, however. Sure, the boy helped him out quite a lot but he just didn't know what they were. He would like to be Michael's friend, the boy was nice and actually cared for him enough. Maybe even more than his parents.

The thought made Ashton frown, almost tearing up but remembered he was in public. But it was the sad truth. His parents were actually to busy fighting to even remember they had a son. Ashton was used to feeling invisible.

How could he feel invisible when he has so many people who admire him? Even when he's in a room full of people, he felt alone. It was the most horrible feeling, he just felt desolate.

He just wanted love and people didn't seem to understand.

[a/n i hope you guys liked this, i'm happy with it so far and i think I'm gonna have a lot of fun writing this. feel free to leave constructive criticism in the comments! and please vote if you enjoyed! ]