Heart strong

All over again

I woke up the next day after I found out. I held the sheets closed to me taking deep breaths. I hadn't eaten since early in the morning yesterday. I was hungry and tired, but the only thing I felt was the pain. The pain I could never have a baby shower. The pain that I would have any thing that came with a child.
"Iris," he said. I felt the bed move and him sit up.
"What am I going to do," I cried.
He turned me around, "adopt, theirs plenty of amazing kid out their. Waiting for an amazing mother like you."
I smiled, suddenly I felt a shock. My heart lurched, their was a pain in my jaw, my next, even the tips of my fingures.
"Alec, my pace maker. I having a heart attack," I screamed.
He grabbed his phone off the bed and dialed 911.
"My wife I having a heart attack," he yelled.
I felt the room spin and turn dark.
"Don't leave me," he screamed.
It was over, the lights were out.

"She's waking up," I heard a nurse yell.
I say a bright white light and nurses rushing around me. Poking me with needle and all sorts of things.
"Alec," I wispered. In the rush of things. I still couldn't see anything only a. white haze and figures was all I saw.
I saw a glimpse of Alec, they were rushing me somewhere. I saw the number of rooms passing and then doors open.
"Get her on the opporation table," one yelled.
They lifted me onto a cold table, I saw a mask go over me.
"Just breath normally it would all be over when you wake up. Think of something beautiful...," his voice faded along with all the comotion.
I was calm for some reason. I saw the lake, the one in fairmont, it's green water waving. The ducks ruffling their feathers in the water.
I saw the image fade and I woke up alone in a room, Alec was holding my hand. I felt a numb felling over where my heart would be.
"What happend," I asked.
"The pace maker malfunctioned, shocked all the wrong places. They recalled them,alot of people getting replacements. Your incident saved alot of lives. You have to stop doing this to me."
I reached for my face and knew exactly what was down my noes.
"Why do I have a feeding tube?"
"Someone hasn't been eating, you've been out for almost a week they had no choice."
"I think it's happening already," I said. "The Anorexia, I know it's coming back."
"We'll have to fight it. Harder than ever," he said pushing my hair out of my face.
"I don't know if I'll be able to fight it this time, after it all."
"You'll make it. I know who I married, she never gives up."

Lila.
"Oh my God, Oh my god," I said looking down at the positive pregnancy test.
I rubbed my face, I picked up my phone and called him.
Voice mail, " James, please call me when you get this, it's an emergency."
I paced back and forth slapping the pregnancy test on my hand.
My door bell rang, 'James', I thought immediately.
I left the test on the counter and rushed to open the door.
"Alec,where's Iris has something thing happened."
"She's at the hospital, she needs you."
A wave of panic rushed over me, "is she ok?"
"She's stable and awake, she just wanted me to get you in person."
I grabbed my phone and keys,"Let's go," I said taking my bag.

Iris
Lila came rushing in, she looked like hell. Not her normal self.
"Iris," she said coming by my bed. "You need to stop doing this to us. What is its the third time-"
"This time i'm not coming out for a while," I said interrupting her. "Lila are you pregnant," I asked.
She looked stucken, "how did you-"
"I saw it, when they put me under," I looked to Alec, he took my hand. "What ever happens I need you to keep going. Go to work tomorrow, take over my channel-"
"Your not leaving me Iris-"
"I'm Givin it all," I said gripping his hand firmly. "I'm not going any where."
"All of you go home, go on with your lives. I'll be hear fighting."
"It's not getting me this time."
Alec kissed me and got up to leave,"I'm coming back tomorrow," he yelled.
"I know you are," I looked to Lila. "Are you keeping it?"
"No, I can't every one knows. I'll fuck it up so fast, you want it," she asked bitting her nails.
"No, it'll help you. Make you grow up, snap you out of the sex addiction you have. Make you stop sleeping with just anyone."
"I'm sorry Iris, I really am, please forgive me," she pleaded.
"It's not my forgiveness you need. You will raise this baby to be every good thing your not. Strong, independent, and that will be your forgiveness. You'll be not only the women but the mother I know you could be. Now leave, don't come back till you've made your decision. Grow up or die trying."
She got up and left.