Heart strong

Home

He dropped me off at home and went in with me. He went to get us Chipotle and Starbuck an hour we got home. We ate and stayed for about an hour before leaving. He lifted me a bit off the floor bending me to kiss me. I loved him. I spent so long not being able to feel anything. Trying to convince myself that I was fine. Now with Alec it feels real like everything I told my was a lie. I knew I couldn't get used to this because if anything happens I know I'll end up back in the hospital.
My pulse went crazy. My OCD didn't like this. I started crying. The room was spinning. I fumbled for my phone and called 911. A wave went over my head when I blacked out.
I woke up in the ambulance an oxygen mask over my face and IV stuck in me.
The nurse was smoothing my head watching my heart monitor which beeped like crazy. I began twitching and my body started shaking. The every muscle in my body tightening and untightening. They pined me down but my abdomen went up and down. I slipped under.

My axiety started when my heart was damaged from me starving my self. A damage that could not be fixed. I was on pills for the longest, then one day I went to the pharmacy for a refill when the pharmacist said I couldn't get any more. I remember getting in my car and jumping up and down in my seat.

Now, in the hospital I know I would have to take them again.

My docter came in. Did the whole routine with out a word. Every time. He went and stood next to my bed.

"Well Iris, I don't like that your here."
"Nither do I Frank," I said loudly.
He shook his head. "I know your going to want to kill me but your here for a two weeks."

I did want to kill him. I looked at him my heart monitor started beeping faster. I saw him shake his head and stab a needle into my IV pouch.

I was calm drugged but still aware.

"Were putting in your pace maker back in tomorrow after we get you prepared. Is their any one you want to call?"

"Yes, what time is it."

"Nine o'clock you've been here a day."

Alec should be off at home. Frank straightened out my bed for me to sit up and put the phone on my bed table. The phone rang twice.

"Oh my God, Iris. I didn't hear from you an entire day. You called right now and I knew it was the hospital number. And are you ok?"

"I had a really bad axiety attack, followed by a seizer. Listen to me ok. By my door is a pot with sun sunflowers in it buried I the bottom is a key to my house. Kill the plants, make a mess I don't care. When you get inside. Get my phone its on the floor next to the couch. Get my vlog camera and my lab top. They are both under my coffee table. Then all the charges are in the extension cord next to the reading chair. Bring all of these too me."

"Okay," he said. "I'll be their really quick."
"Alec," I stopped him.
"Yeah."
"Don't speed."
"I promise," is all he said before hanging up.

Alec.

I made sure not to speed to her house. I quickly climbs the stair and flipped the pot over. I clawed at the dirt and found the key. I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I rushed to find her lab top andmcamera.Then laying on the floor face down. I stopped tears filling my eyes and picked it up. I then grabbed her favorite purple blanket, the soft one she loved cuddling up with and threw it over my sholder. I locked the door behind me. I put the key in my pocket and slowly went down the stairs with the equipment.

I unlocked my car and put every thing on the passengers seat, putting her phone in my pocket. I silently drive to the hospital and parked. I was glad she had her lab top I a carry bag and her camra had a strap. I put the staple over my head and locked my car. I ran into to lobby and left my drivers license with the rap while she put the wrist band on. I waited impatiently for the elivtor. I found her room on the eating disorder floor which worried me. I quickly walked to her room saying each number as I passed them. I finnally found hers. She was alone and asleep.

I walked to her bed and held her hand. Their was a tube stuck in her. I followed the tube and read the IV pouch. They drugged her asleep. I took off the equipment and gently placed it on the counter next to her. I read her clip board too. She was scheduled for a pace maker tomorrow.

I held her hand and cried. The last time I cried was when I delivered a baby from a cancer patient. It didn't make it and nither did the mom. The father committed suicide by jumping off the top floor of the building.

And here I was crying in frount of my girlfriend. In a fucking hospital.

I saw her eyes open. I quickly whipped my eyes but I knew I couldn't hide it.
She smiled. "Hey."
"Hey," I said and kissed her. "How do you feel."
"Like crap. What else?"
I laughed and sniffed my nose.
"Hey," she said holding my cheeck. "None of this is anyone's fault. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. Every thing will be ok."
I grabbed the blanket from my lap and draped it over her. She cuddled with it and kissed me.

I moved the chair closer to her and put my head on my lap where she ran her fingures thew my hair.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too, " she said and kissed the back of my head. I kissed her hand and laid my head their for a while.

A/N: You guys better be great full I had to study and watch a video of a pace maker implant just for this. Any way, thank you so so much for reading I love you guys. ♡