We Were Greedy

Chap. 17: Auto Drive

Chapter 17

Auto Drive

It was probably an hour after Daniel and Kyle had left that Philip arrived.

I was still thinking about Daniel's words, when the door flew open and my fiancé rushed in to my sides.

He was panting heavily as he reached the bed. He looked at me for a moment before lifting his hand up to my cheek, cupping it tenderly as he kneeled besides the bed. "Thank god, you're alright." He sighed deeply as his other hand took mine and brought it up to his lips. "I was so scared, I took the first flight when I heard." he explained as he calmed down.

He kissed the skin softly as if it was going to break.

I related the story of my condition and what had happened to him with the little facts that I had overheard from one conversation to another. He listened carefully, but I could feel he was a bit angry at himself for leaving me in such a condition.

Once I was done, he spoke up. "How are you feeling now, honey?" He asked as he reached out for a chair to sit besides me.

I looked out the window, opposite to him. "I don't know..." I shrugged. "they gave me pills, I don't really think straight anymore. Everything is fuzzy and confusing." I marked a pause. "But one thing sure is that I'd really like to see my hair." I said before looking back at him.

He glanced around the room before noticing that there were absolutely no mirrors for me to use, I spoke again before he could. "How short is it?" I asked and he squinted at me, trying to find a comparison.

"I'd say, Miranda in the first season of sex and the city." He commented as he took a strand between his fingers, twisting it lightly. "Don't worry it'll be back down to a decent length when we'll get married." He added, trying to comfort me.

I frowned. "Is it that bad?" I asked, remembering how Dan's words were filled with appreciation.

"Let's just say short hair is not for you." He said chuckling lightly.

He probably thought I wouldn't like it either. What girl gets her hair cut to such a short length without her approbation and is happy about it?

"Oh." I looked down to my hands observing the tubes entering my veins.

When he realized that he had upset me he spoke up again. "I'm-" he started before I cut him off.

"No it's okay." I said as I looked back at him, offering him a weak smile. "You have the right not to like it."

But strangely, I couldn't get it out of my head and as we continued to speak, my mind was off, wandering through so many questions and thoughts I forgot what was even the main point of our conversation. He stayed in the room with me, right besides me at anytime I would simply just cough, he just refused to leave the room unless he was really forced to. But I later learned that not once he left the hospital.

A few days later they finally released me, but I could feel that something inside me had shifted. I just couldn't quite put my finger on it. I was just numb. As if I had never left that catatonic stage. My bet was on the pills I needed to take in order to not relapse, but deep down in the back of my mind there was the silhouette of a thought, and I knew that sooner or later, that thought would walk into the light. The last time I had felt any sort of emotions, was when Dan was at my sides.

It had been a week now that I was out of the hospital, I was taking a walk through London, replaying for the thousandth time Dan's visit in my mind. I was becoming more and more persuaded that my numbness wasn't due to the pills. I felt like I was floating around aimlessly, that's when I realized that I was alone. Besides from Kyle and his girlfriend, I didn't have any friends, at all. I also discovered I didn't even have a goal in life, or even just a dream. So I buried myself under wedding arrangements, I figured the sooner I would be married, the better it would be, because then I could work on building a family. I could be a stay at home mum, that would keep me busy, I was sure of that.