We Were Greedy

Chap 6. Kingdoms

Chapter 6

Kingdoms

The days that followed were filled with something new, something else that had grew between us. There was a sort of tension that had been created as we constantly tried to draw the line between keeping a professional relationship and being intimate. What at first was the beginning of a friendly relationship turned out to be so much more than that.

As much as I hated to say it, I was becoming more and more attracted to Daniel, this person nearly a month ago I still called Mr. Smith every once in a while. I found everything about him attractive, from his breathtaking blue eyes to his weird passion for the 90s.

I had realized it when we decided to walk down the Brooklyn bridge. The sun was settling behind the buildings, the air was especially warm and our hands kept brushing past one another. We took our time, walking slowly and enjoying every bit of the moment as we could. It was when we stopped halfway through the bridge to lean over the railing and watch the last rays of sun die that I understood that all the shivers I had had lately weren't from the cold. Every time he touched me, my heart skipped a beat.

I was suddenly worried that I was falling in love with my boss, as much of an amazing and handsome person he was, I couldn't simply permit it. I wasn't single and I always told myself I wasn't one of those who dated their bosses.

But who was I really kidding? Those were the only two reasons I had found to convince myself these feelings where the definition of wrong. Yet, I couldn't help myself, but try and touch him every time I had the chance, I tried to hold it in and not stare for to long. But every time his eyes met mine, I was frozen, unable to look elsewhere. Every time he smiled was like the heavens poured down on him.

I found out that these were the feelings that I had been tried to suppress for quite a long time now. I was able to completely deny them because I had Philip to keep me at bay. But now that I was alone against the greatest enemy I had ever known, I realized that my unhealthy desires were far more strong than my questionable will.

The feelings were haunting me and I became gnawed with guilt. I dreamed about him, about his hands touching me, his lips kissing me. Every morning I longed to go back to sleep just to try and get a glimpse of him, but each time, I was awfully ashamed of thinking such things.

It's so simple you see, to tell yourself what you would do in these kind of situations. We always take the cheater for the greatest of scumbags or skanks and the one who agreed to be part of this secret relationship is also a scumbag or a skank. But let me tell you that I was wrong. And that such things were possible. I loved Philip with all my heart, but Daniel made me feel like I had never felt before: wild, free and alive.

And so I observed his face when he didn't look, trying to satisfy my cravings of him. Thinking that it would probably make it go away if I told myself every time I saw him that it was wrong. I tried to give me all the reasons why I shouldn't let my newly found feelings take over control. But unfortunately all it did was amplifying my desires, I always wanted more. The more I looked, the more I wanted, I simply couldn't get enough of him.

And every day I felt more and more shameful, I had completely lost control over myself, giving in instead of fighting back. I still loved Philip with every inch of my body and soul, but I was greedy and wanted Daniel more than anything.

My adversary in this was no help. He had a prestigious arsenal. He would lend me his coat when I'd get cold, offer me his elbow to walk on unsteady grounds, hold the doors for me, smile at me with that horribly adorable smile of his, watch me with intensity with his terrific blue eyes.