Purely Arrogant | ✓

Chapter 21: Frustration

But I wasn't calm. "You think I'm ill. You think I'm pissed off at you because I haven't taken my fucking medication, well guess what Eliza. For once can you not just accept that I'm pissed off at you"

Before Eliza could even retaliate we were interrupted. "I can hear you two fighting from across the airport, come on, we're going to Starbucks" Levi said in my ear as I huffed

I walked with Levi towards the coffee store but when I turned around for the split second I saw Eliza cry and Jordan hug her.

I immediately felt bad

"I'm such a bitch" I muttered, putting my face in my hands

Levi chuckled "No you're not"

"How can you stand to be with an evil person like me?" I questioned

"Come on book girl, let's go get you something to drink" he said to me as I refused to look up at him.

I immediately felt guilty for shouting at Eliza. For the past few days I had basically been avoiding my medication at all costs, I had done it once before and it didn't turn out well. Why I did it again, I had no idea.

The first time was when I was fifteen, I wasn't the happiest fifteen year old in the world, let's just get that straight. For whatever 'rebellious' reason, I decided to avoid my medication completely in order to fit in. I wanted to be normal and I was aware of the fact that no other teenage girl took Xanax and SSRIs. Of course, all the medications had side effects, the worst one being migraines that would last days. Whilst I had gotten used to the migraines at seventeen, as a fifteen year old who was new to everything, I would literally do anything to avoid it.

Of course I had then discovered that the side effects to not taking the pills were worse than the side effects of the pill itself. My migraines stopped but my panic attacks increased, I couldn't even touch Eliza which was completely different, I was always agitated and I couldn't even go to school. It was safe to say I never avoided my pills again.

Until now.

Now I did it again, I thought I had everything under control. Unlike last time when I did it to be normal, this time I did it because I thought I could handle it. I handled it pretty well. Today was my third day avoiding all pills, my panic attacks were low but that didn't mean that I was any less agitated. And what had happened just now pretty much proved everything.

"Juliette" I distinctly heard Levi's voice as I came back to reality.

"Um-what?" I asked un surely. I had realised that we were both standing in a coffee shop. Both the barista and Levi were looking down at me expectantly. How and when we got here I had no idea but that didn't exactly matter at the moment.

He chuckled "I asked you what you wanted"

"Oh" I replied "A hot chocolate please"

The barista nodded his head "Classic or-"

"Classic" I interrupted, not exactly in the mood to listen to how many versions of hot chocolate they could possibly serve.

I could tell the barista thought I was rude, and I wouldn't be surprised if he spat in my drink but I ignored him anyway.

"She's not in the best mood" Levi said politely as the barista handed back the drinks.

He didn't spit in any of them, I watched.

Levi payed as I rolled my eyes. "I have money, you know" I muttered

He laughed "I'm sure you do"