Sometimes coping up with his trainings would get really difficult. They'll would make the boys work hard the entire day not giving an ounce of rest. It was at that time he would envision her face. He didn't have a reason first but now he could go to a place called 'home'. He entered his house past midnight and walked as quietly as possible to the kitchen. She would always coming running down hearing the door open to give him food.
"Chicken and rice. Do NOT come up without eating!" He smiled looking at the small sticky note on the refrigerator. If one percent she didn't make it she always had a backup plan.
Heating the food he hungrily ate it. Once done he hurried upstairs to his room. She wasn't there which meant she was in Arshiya's room. Bathing and changing into his sweats he quickly moved to the other room craving to hold her in his arms. Arshiya lay between his wife and symmetrically aligned pillows. Giving a peck on Arshiya's cheek he scrambled like a child to his wife and pulled her into his arms. She stirred and looked back at him.
"Nilay.." She sort of panicked and he kissed her lips loving their softness.
"Did you eat?" She spoke hoarsely.
"Sshhh...I loved it. Now sleep." He pecked her again. Cocooned in his muscular arms soon she gave in to sleep.
They didn't have to put an alarm for him now because like always Arshiya woke them up with her cries at four in the morning. She scooted up in bed and rested her back against the bed rest picking up her daughter.
"That's it baby. Mummy's here." She cooed softly rocking her in her arms. It was at that moment that Nilay barely got up and crawled over to her hugging her thighs resting his head on her lap. Holding Arshiya in one arm she lovingly ran the fingers of her other hand through his neatly trimmed hair smiling at him.
"Its four already." She whispered with affection feeding Arshiya. He just shook his head in her lap.
Frowning she let him sleep for another fifteen minutes with his head still in her lap. He was acting weird today. Nilay was punctual and alert and he took his work seriously.
"Nilay?" She spoke again once Arshiya was asleep. Bending a little she pulled her crib towards the bed and placed the sleeping child in it rocking it a little for he wouldn't let go of her. She looked at him. He was wide awake.
"What's wrong?" She whispered running her thumb over his eyebrows.
"I have an off today." He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers.
"Off? On a weekday?"
"Lie down with me." He spoke lowly. She slid down and faced him but he made her turn her back towards him and hugged her tightly from behind.
"Is everything okay?" She questioned with fear.
"Hmm...please sleep." He slept like a baby but she couldn't sleep. She was worried for him. Something was not right.
Morning her eyes kept darting upstairs from the kitchen where she was cooking. When he didn't come down she left everything and moved to their room. He had freshened up and stood facing the window.
"Alright will we talk now or not?" She said making him face her. Instead he took her in his arms and gave her a long gentle kiss. Of course she was affected by his kisses but now was not the right time.
"Stop with the kissing Nilay!"
"Don't like them?!" He smiled at her.
"I do..I mea.." She stopped, folded her arms and gave him an angry look.
"Come down for breakfast." She said dismissively.
They spent the entire day at house playing with Arshiya and watching movies. In the evening she took her out to the beach while he watched them from a distance. She turned her head to look at him. There was sadness in his eyes today. He wasn't his usual happy self and it scared her. It was then his eyes widened on seeing her and he sprinted towards her. In an instant he pulled her with his baby to his chest.
"Tahira! Are you insane? Where were you looking! The waves are so high today!"
Confused she looked ahead to see the sea in its usual calm self.
"Sorry." Nevertheless she whispered.
Finally gathering the courage she held his hand with her free hand and pulled him inside the house. Putting Arshiya to sleep she entered the room. He was about to move out.
"Stop! Sit down!" She commanded. He looked at her bewildered. She never raised voice against him. Like a child he obeyed and let out a frustrated breath.
"I lost mom today." He barely spoke. For the first time being with him she blanched.
"I never knew..nobody told me...dad didn't tell me. She was fighting a battle against cancer for the past two years." She saw it now why he wasn't on good terms with his father.
"I was out of Cali, training. It was when I got back I came to know. Dad had a heart attack and they couldn't contact me...remote areas with no reception." He let out a humourless laugh. Her eyes filled up.
"Two days and her body just remained lying at our house. Two days after her death dad forced himself out of the hospital with his illness persisting and took care of things." He looked up at her.
"I couldn't be there for her cremation Tahira! She gave birth to me and I wasn't there when she needed me the most!"
"Oh Nilay!" She buried his face in her chest still standing and he hugged her waist.
"I wasn't there for her..I wasn't there for you.." She opened her eyes and a tear escaped.
This was him...raw and vulnerable. Who said men weren't capable of showing emotions. They have a heart and they have the right to express what they feel. How long was he trapped with all these feelings she wondered. Why couldn't he just cry it all out for once she thought?
She lifted his face to hers and pulled him out of the room. Going to the kitchen she took out something and almost pushed him back to the beach.
"What are you doing?"
Once at the shore she pulled him to sit with her. Lighting the matchbox she placed a floating candle on the wet sand and opened his hand placing it there carefully. Holding his hand she guided it into the water. The candle floated away bobbing up and down in the calm sea under the night sky.
"The first candle.." She whispered " Is for love - unconditional love that 'ma' and you had. Parents never get angry at their children Nilay or do something, expecting something in return. This is the power of their love." Her eyes glazed and he smiled softly at her. He loved it when she called his mother 'ma'.
"The second candle.." She said making him leave it in the water "Is to free you of the guilt of not being there. It was meant to happen and so it did. It doesn't decrease your affection towards her. Let go Nilay!"
"This last one is for the closure that both of us get today. No fear...fear of losing each other because we are strong and we have come out of worse. We want happiness and we shall seek for it till our last breath together." She said closing the distance between them and plastering her lips to his in a kiss which said it all, which filled the gaps which were ever present in their relationship.
And this was his wife. She was happy when he was happy. She cried when he cried and she understood him to depths which nobody did. She was his 'home'. Both of them sat facing the sea, her back to his front, looking at the fading candles sailing smoothly in the calm sea.
Author's Note:-
Sorry for the exceptionally long wait. Took me some time to write. Please expect the updates to be slow.
New cover :- Thanks Maggie_05
Comment!
xoxo Lily <3
