Savior ↛ Phan

Chapter 20- A New Shade of Blue

*Cough*

"I tried to talk to the teachers." Phil sighs and continues to play with my fingers as we sit snuggled together on the sofa.

My head rests on Phil's chest, my knees brought to my own chest. Phil sits with his legs in a crossed manner. A blanket is thrown over us as we sit together in each other's comfort and warmth. I haven't been this comfortable in a while.

"No matter what, you have to come to school tomorrow. I know it's stupid, and awful, and you deserve so much more time off. I mean, you've only been home for a week, but they're worried that you're getting too far behind. Plus, it's the last school year before uni, and they don't want you to have to stay in longer than you need to." He explains, staring expectantly at me to respond.

My face continues to stare blankly at the telly. Although I don't watch the tv, I instead stare right through the motion picture, not paying attention to anything, "Dan?" Phil whispers, and my attention finally turns towards him, "I'm worried about you." He continues, his eyes glazing over, a few tears falling.

I stay silent, and use my thumb to delicately wipe away the tears that fall down his pale and smooth face. My still somewhat thin fingers move to his fringe where I move some of it out of his eyes, "Don't worry about me." I lightly smile with a ghost quiet tone, "I'm fine." I reassuringly add, and place a soft kiss onto Phil's lips.

He forms his lips into a straight line, his face still reading uncertainty. I know that I'm acting weird but...I've changed. People change, it's a normal thing. I'm still getting used to it just like Phil is. I know that I'm not the Dan that Phil used to know, but I hope that he'll find a way to still like me now.

Phil leans forward, and makes it so our faces are only centimeters apart. Although he doesn't lean in any further, he stays where he is. A new shade of a different color seeming to loom into his eyes. They always change, it's like a never ending cycle. A new speck of gold, or a new splash of green found every moment in his light blue eyes.

Phil stares at me dead on. Our eyes not losing each other's. They lock in place, blue meeting brown. Although mine can sometimes appear as a brownish shade of red in certain light. I wonder what my eyes look like right now. Does my eye color appear differently to others?

Our breaths continue to mingle, and I finally find myself running my hands up Phil's legs to his stomach. Now that he's fully facing towards me, this task is much easier. Then, my hands glide under his shirt, touching his bare skin where I draw patterns, my hands leading up to his chest, "God you're beautiful." I mumble, making Phil shyly meet my sharp gaze, "It's unbelievable how no one has truly realized before." I add, making Phil's cheeks turn a bright shade of pink, "It's amazing. Your form and your stride. The way you act in action, how your actions seem almost bulky yet swift."

Phil lets out a happy sigh, and leans forward, placing his forehead on my shoulder. We don't kiss, and we don't need to kiss. Showing comfort, and love doesn't mean just kissing. It also means being in each other's comforts with no talking, only eye contact, and the occasional hand holding. It may not be much, but it's the world to me. Sweet little moments like this.

"...Dan?"

"Hm?"

"Are we like um...a real thing? Like...boyfriends?" Phil chews his lip.

I think for a moment. Yeah, I've always dreamed of this, but now that it's here...I don't know what to do. But I nod, because I know that I won't have regrets if I say yes. If I say no, then I'll hurt Phil, and regret my decision. I don't regret this one, which means that I'm happy with the choice I made.

I see Phil's lips curl into a smile as he looks up, and pecks me on the lips before continuing to cuddle into me. Our positions reversed from me cuddling him, to him cuddling me. I prefer being the "big spoon" anyway.