Savior ↛ Phan

Chapter 18- Beauty at its Best

I don't know what I was expecting as I woke up, but I definitely wasn't expecting to feel warm breath in my face accompanied by soft kisses. My long eyelashes flutter open, my lips slightly parting. My breath hitches in the back of my throat at bright blue eyes, and my shocked face soon turns into a shy smile with a blush.

Phil places one last kiss to my cheek, seeming to avoid my lips. At the thought, I lick my dry lips, and pull them into a straight line, seeming to remember the way Phil's lips felt on mine.

Phil tilts his head to the side with a puzzled look, "Did I do something?" He asks with his hoarse morning voice.

"No, oh god no." I smile, and wrap my arms around his neck.

Phil smiles and pecks my nose, making me scrunch it up and giggle, "I forgot to tell you something last night."

"Hm?" I sleepily ask, and place my head onto his chest.

"Jaxon loves you." He says, making me smile and let out a heartfelt laugh.

The room becomes silent and I find myself frowning as Phil rubs his arm up and down my back. It's not going to be happiness and sunshine forever. Phil, Jamie, and I are all going to need to talk. Phil and Jamie left off on such an odd foot. I don't even know if Jamie knows about about Phil and I. Phil could've randomly left for all I know.

"What are you thinking about?" Phil lightly asks with concern.

"You and Jamie..." I whisper and slowly sit up, feeling much better after eating yesterday.

"Dan that's- that's-"

"That's a subject that we need to talk about. All 3 of us." I quickly shoot at him, feeling aggravated for no reason.

Phil sits up as well with a worried look, "Okay. I'm sorry for upsetting you."

I sigh, and burry my head in my knees, "No, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm acting like this. It's just too hard to believe. Almost impossible. You don't know how long I've been feeling so- so useless, and helpless as I was lost in my own thoughts. Thinking about you, thinking about us. How all I desperately wanted was to have you by my side. Although the way that we were side by side was only friends. It was tough accepting that...especially after-"

"The night where I kissed you." Phil finishes my sentence, making me nod and bite my lip, "You have no idea how much I want to take that back. How awful I was to you. I just didn't know the extant on what it would do to you. To the both of us. It was just the way you looked, so content, so happy, lost in everything. You couldn't care less about anything around you except for that star. The star that was you mum, and I swear you've never smiled so brightly, and your eyes have never sparkled so much as you talked about her. It was overwhelming, you took over my senses. All I was thinking was you. It honestly scared me, down to the bone."

"So you did feel something that night." I say in astonishment, finally looking up at him, "You lied to me?"

Phil chews his lip, "No. Yes. I don't know. I was confused. One side of me just wanted to cuddle and kiss you till the end of time, the other side was frightened by the other side. The feared side won, and that's the only way to describe it." He pleads.

"I was suffering!" I shout.

"I didn't know that!" He shouts back, taking in a deep breath, and calming down before continuing, "You hid it. You hid everything from me. Every little feeling." He defends.

"It's my only line of defense besides violence towards myself and others."

"I didn't know this." He says in defeat, "Look, I know that I was selfish. I know that I wasn't the best friend you wanted, but I've never had a true friend. I-I don't know how they're supposed to treat you. I treated you the way that I've always been treated, I didn't know any other way, and I'm sorry about that. You've showed me how a friend should treat another friend, and I can't thank you enough for that."