Who Knows?

Chapter 18

Lying there replaying that night's events. I can't believe it. Why does something good always have to get screwed up? Especially in my life. What Aiden and I have is based on a lie, and what about Nick? My best friend who sleeps around and gets drunk, but he's my best friend and he said he loves me. Love? Why? Why does he love me? I understand that he kissed me, and he's been acting quite weird since then. As I float back to reality, the beach has never been this peaceful nor this empty. The sun has disappeared, and grey clouds hang in the sky. A storm is coming, the wind is blowing in different directions, and the ocean is quite rough.

I haven't been to school in the past three days and I've done some thinking. This entire situation a big mess. Aiden came by once, but I refused to see him, and Nick hasn't even bothered. Although a part of me wishes he would have. I'm going back tomorrow to fetch the work I've missed out on. Luckily Dylan and I are on speaking terms, he's been quite supportive, and he has apologized to me. He said Nick hasn't been at school once since the fight.

A lightning bolt flashes through the sky, yup, this is my queue to go home, I fall down onto my bubble chair that hangs on the terrace and lately, it has become my best friend. I watch how the raindrops fall onto the earth; I love the rain. It's pouring with rain and as I flip to page 203 of the book I'm reading; the book slowly gets pulled out of my hands. I glance up and Nick's standing in front of me.

"Hey, Liv." He adds with a slight smile. He looks awful. It's as if he hasn't slept in days. As I try to walk to the door, he grabs my arm, and he draws me towards him.

"Don't leave." He mumbles. So many emotions run through me as I stand there peering at the floor.

"Why not? I'm struggling with this Nick. What do you expect me to do? You said you love me?" My voice sounds hoarse. I glance up at him and his green eyes become glossy.

"Yes, I messed up Liv, I'm not denying that but seeing you with him makes everything so much worse? I tried controlling my emotions, and that was the only way I knew how." He lets go of my arm.

"You were drunk, Nick." I reply, pointing out the obvious. He looks down and his expression dulls, and I make my way towards the door. He yanks me towards him, and his lips meet mine.

"Nick. Stop!" I push him back. Did he really just kiss me? Seriously.

"This right here, is precisely why we will never work." His face turns stone cold.

"Fuck Liv." He clenches his jaw, his eyes darken, and he is quite angry.

"We said our friendship will always be our top priority, Liv, and now you're fucking pushing me away. You always push everyone away."

"That's not true. I only push people away who do shit that they shouldn't be doing." I protest.

"Liv. Come on, I'm trying to fix this, something I've been trying to do since I've come back from South Africa and your accident. You have no idea how hard I've been trying. Seeing you with Aiden is probably the toughest thing I've ever had to do. Things between us have always been complicated Liv." He sits on the bubble chair.

"Nick. You know how I feel about lying. I don't want to be associated with liars. You know me better than anyone else and hooking up with Khloe? Why would you do that?" I move closer to him.

"Exactly. I know you. I know what you've been through and I have always only wanted the best for you. I tried supporting you and him, but I guess I can't do that."

"I just don't understand why now? Why, when I'm with Aiden? Look, Nick, please do me one favor?"

"I've felt like this since we were kids, Liv. What do you mean, why now? What do you want me to do?" He smiles.