Undying Love: Sons Of Anarchy

Morning Battle

Do Not Read

This Chapter is currently under revision

This Chapter does not follow the current story line.

Everything will change.

"I don't think you should go." Jax told me and I just sighed as I leaned against the wall. Here we go again. Jax had me basically on house arrest. Ever since the last time we went to the doctors. I wasn't really allowed to do anything anymore.

"You say that about everything." I said.

"Because it's true. Charlie you are in pain. Carrying them is killing you. You don't think I notice. You can't cover that with makeup." He said staring at me, sitting at the edge of the bed. I broke his eye contact to look down before looking back up.

"It's lunch Jackson. It's just lunch. Nothing is going to happen."

"I'm saying no. The baby shower is tomorrow..That's going to be a lot for you. You don't need to go to lunch and get more worked up." Closing my eyes I leaned my head back against the wall.

"And would you come and sit down I don't like you standing."

"Jackson. I've been stuck in this house for the past three weeks. I need to get out this house. The only place I'm allowed to go is the hospital. I don't like being caged."

"I'm not caging you. I'm trying to look out for you. I wish you were staying at the hospital but you won't. You know what Dr. Williams said." Here we go.

"I know what he said."

"I don't think you do. Because if you did than my girlfriend wouldn't be making the choice to leave me." He said raising his voice, but not quite yelling. It hurts a little bit more everytime he called me his girlfriend instead of his wife, like he used to. He was upset with me and I refused to marry him until after the twins were born.

"For the last time. I am not leaving you."I told him.

"No, but you are. You want to have these kids so bad you are willing to put your life at risk."

"They are our babies, Jackson. Of course I'm risking myself for them...How can you not think of Teddy and Paisleigh like that? You used too. What happened?"

"What happened is that they started killing you! And I'm just suppose to stand by and watch!?" Now he's yelling...I probably pushed a button too hard... He didn't like calling the babies by their names ever since our last visit to the doctors. I started having serve pain in my sleep. Woke up screaming. The results weren't good at all. My body wasn't made to carry children and the further I went in the pregnancy my body was starting to reject it. Instead of my body creating  nutrients for the babies they were taking my own, for myself instead. The doctor said that I wouldn't make it to the full thirty-six weeks. But also on top of that I also had Placenta Praevia...which having them could be the end of my life...

"I just have to make it to thirty-six weeks. They will be safe at thirty-six weeks. Or at least thirty-four" I whispered looking down at my stomach.

"You can't wait that long. Dr. Williams said-"

"I know what the hell Dr. Williams said! Yes! I could die! But I am not aborting them! And how dare you even suggest that to me when you know what I have been through!" I started my rant to him.

"You left me! You did, not me. I was planning to be with you forever and you left me! I lost our baby! I did, not you. I was in a coma! Not you, me. I was told that I couldn't have children. Then my father dies and I come back to this hell of a town and you knock me up... Again, at that! And here I am pregnant and they could make it. So forgive me for wanting to have this, for wanting to be a mother." With every you I pointed at him and pointed at myself with every me. I finished taking slow deep breaths calming my heart rate down.

"How dare I? You are choosing them over me!"

"Yes I left you! You don't think I regret that every day? If I didn't leave you Tara would still be alive! Things would be a lot different. I know what you've been through, but do you know what I've been through? I lost one wife already and I am not loosing you! Charlie.. I just can't. It will kill me! And I couldn't take care of them I...- You are choosing to leave me and I'm not okay with that. So no you aren't waiting for a few more weeks because you won't make it out, and I can't tell Able that he lost another Mommy."Rage consumed him. Standing up walking closer to me. His upper lip curled up and his hair was tossled. Placing his hands on the wall on either side of my head I stared into his eyes. He was beyond pissed. He just didn't understand...he didn't understand why I was doing this and he wouldn't until he held them.

"I'm a fighter...I'll make it out of this."I spoke softly to him

"You can't fight this one Charlie.."He said shaking his head. My poor man...He was barely holding on. This was killing him. The thought of me not being alive anymore was killing him.

"Fine, I won't go to lunch. I'll call Summer and tell her." I said trying to make some peace.

"You're their Mother too.. And they need one."He said lifting one hand from the wall and pointing it to the door towards the boys room.

"They need you a hell of a lot more than they do."He said with disgust as he motioned his eyes down to my baby bump.

"They already lost a mother. They can't loose you too. What are the boys going to do when it's time to go to bed and you aren't there to sing for them?" He asked and I just looked down.

"Able can't sleep at night because he's having nightmares of loosing you. Thomas has been fussy because you can't hold him like you used too." His index finger touched my chin lifting my head up so I could meet his gaze

"You're not just leaving me, but them too. Do you want to know all the people you are leaving behind?"He asked placing his hand back.

"Jackson. No." I said.

"If you don't care about leaving me here than maybe you will about everyone else."

"Jackson." I repeated.

"Able, Thomas, Gemma,-"

"Stop."

"Sam, Tig, Chibs-"

"Stop it." I closed my eyes. I couldn't get away.

"Lelia, Chuck, Bobby, Oh and Robby and his whole family. What's going to happen when Robby has to tell his daughters that their God Mother-"

"Jackson!"I yelled.

"No! You don't get to tell me to stop Charlie! I have been here the whole way, but I'm not watching you die and I am not going to this party tomorrow acting like nothing is wrong when the whole fucking sky is falling!"

"Jack-" I started before I was cut off.

"Your breathing is so raspy when you sleep it's like you're struggling to breathe. Your eyes don't sparkle like they used too. Too much standing makes you lose your breath and you can't walk from here to the kitchen with out sounding like you just ran a mile. You have the hardest time getting out of bed and you can't even pick up Thomas... You can't even sing the chorus to the boys at night. You don't sing at all. You're hands are even too shaky for you to draw. You're pale and you put on more makeup to hide it."

"I see the things that you don't think I notice but I do. You are dying." He finally said taking in a deep breath. He watched me as I let that soak in. I was dying...

"I'm dying."I confirmed

"You are my sign to do things better and I- I.."With that I lifted my hand to touch his face.

"I'm dying.."I repeated to him. He met my eyes and slowly started to break down. I had to be the strong one now... He was strong for me in the beginning now it was my turn. Leaning his forehead against my shoulder I moved my hand to the back of his head and stroked his soft blonde hair as he cried.

"You're leaving me.."He sobbed out.

"Shh..."I told him as he wrapped his arms around me holding me.

I was dying.

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