That Maid

Lover Boy

August

Today was the day of Rae's mothers death and she is nothing like her normal self. It's only like 10:30am but she's super quiet and hasn't said a thing since she woke up and hasn't ate anything either. I was trying to talk to her but it didn't seem as if she was listening. Like right now, I'm just watching her as she stares at the wall impression on her face. "Rae." I called out, she still ain't say nothing. She was still just staring into space. "Raelle?" She didn't every look my way. "Raelle Marie Guzman." I yelled which finally got her attention. She looked my way and with an blank expression on. Her face. I was going to say something but she looked back at the wall and finally said her first words for this morning. "I'm the reason she's dead." I went over and sat beside her. "You can't blame that on yourself, your not the reason she's gone. Raelle I'm pretty sure your mother loved you and if she could be here right now she would be." She shook her head. "No she didnt, if she loved me she wouldn't have drank all the time and would have went to go get some help." "It's not always that easy Rae." She shrugged. "My grandmother offered to help so many times, said she would pay for the rehab but my mother always said no and that she was fine. Now look where I am, she nowhere to be found other than six feet under with a headstone." I sighed letting her continue. "I knew I shouldn't have gave her that bottle cause my grandmother always told me to never give them to her unless she got them herself. But of course I didn't listen, I went and got that bottle of alcohol anyway and have it to her. Now she's dead all cause I didn't listen." "Rae, you was young you didn't know any better. Stop blaming yourself for something that want your fault." She looked at me and smiled. "You know I keep telling myself that but it never seems to work." I then noticed she was high. I ain't even know she smoked but maybe she doesn't but is just depressed. She got up and walked upstairs and I followed behind and sat on the bed she was sleeping in with her. "I'm probably going to end up like her. Miserable and alone, nobody wanting me cause I'm always faking something. Feeling like I can't do anything. Trapped in a world I can't escape. Don't nobody want me, my mother left me along with my father and grandmother." "I want you." She looked in my eyes. "August you don't have to lie, I've had a lot of people lie to me. You don't have to say that just to make me feel good. It's fine i don't really care anymore." "I'm not saying it just to make you feel good, I actually mean it." She laughed. "August how do I know your not just lying like the rest of them?" "I can prove it to you." "How?" I moved closer to her and kissed her lips. She kissed back almost immediately and it made me feel good. We was kissing for a good amount of time till we pulled away. She was looking deep in my eyes as if she was looking for something. As if she found what she was looking for I seen a tear go down her face and then a few more after that. She quickly wiped them and looked down. I picked her head up so that she was facing me and kissed her again but with more passion. "Why?" She asked once I pulled away. I looked at her with slight confusion. "Why do you want me? You was the same exact person who said that I'm somewhat faking my life by not showing the true me when I should." "You really want to know?" She nodded. "Well even though you not acting like your true self you still show enough of it so somebody can have an idea of what your really like. I like your personality, the way you always want to help someone but don't expect the help in return. You have those good qualities that every man would want in they girl and your the type of girl that I would show of to the world. Your a loyal type of chick that never goes against the ones she's with even if he's wrong. You respect any and everyone, even the ones that disrespect you the most you still do and you don't try to automatically go to throwing them fist till its time and you still can hold yourself when you do. You might be all nice and stuff but you try and not let no one feel like they can just do whatever they want towards you and you'll make it known if need to. Now I ain't gon lie to you I actually love you and I dead ass on my brothers grave don't tell not a female this unless it's my mom or niece but with you I just feel something different. I get that type of vibe that you'll never stop being fully committed to what's yours. Honestly if you don't feel the same way I wouldn't care cause it's not like I'm going to stop loving you. I can see us doing amazing things in the future together like getting married and having kids, stuff like that. I want to start a relationship with you but I'm just going to wait till I know your fully ready. Shit, I'll wait for your bomb ass body any day but just know for now on you belong to me." I told her and it all was truly from the heart. She laughed a little at that last part causing me to smile. "There's that smile that I like." I told her. "Thank you August and you know what I'm not going to lie either and say I don't love you either cause I do. It just developed over the time of me knowing you. I would be absolutely fine with working towards a relationship but not fully being in one yet. Like just going out on dates and things like that and I really don't have a problem with being yours until then." I smiled at her and she smiled back. "Ight then, get up and get dressed." I told her and she slightly frowned. "Where are we going?" "Date number 1, a lunch date. I don't want to see you sitting around all day moping so I might as well brighten it up for you making you smile but be ready in an hour." I said before walking out. I went to my room and called this restaurant making reservations and then went and got in the shower.