Chapter Twenty One

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Me and Spencer had been at the café for nearly an hour, and we were laughing about him nearly tripping over his Jeans trying to get to the bathroom.

"Anyway, are you and Brendon gonna be public?" He asked making me look up at him seriously for a minute.

"I mean, I'm not sure where we stand... I would love to have a serious relationship with Brendon but I feel like he doesn't feel the same way. I'm sure to him this isn't something that he finds to Be big deal. I don't know, man." I shrugged.

"If this is how you feel you do need to tell him, he's your boyfriend don't keep something this important to the relationship from him. He needs to know." He told me.

"I can't tell Brendon that, I'll freak him out, I don't wanna ruin my only chance with him." I sighed.

"And what if he feels the same? You wanna ruin your chance to have something serious and special with him? Think about it, Ryan, this is something you should do." Spencer told me. He did have a point, but I still didn't think Brendon was gonna feel the same way at all. Brendon probably just wants something casual. No biggie.

Brendon's POV

I was pushing Lydia on the swing and she was laughing and having fun. I wish it were Ryan sitting on that swing, speaking of which where was he? I looked behind me and all around but Ryan was nowhere.

"Lydia? Did you see Ryan leave?" I asked stopping the swing.

"Yeah, he went in the direction of the town." She smiled.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked with a frustrated sigh.

"He's not yours Brendon, he can do what he likes." Lydia laughed playfully.

"Yeah, I guess he can..." I said with a sigh and began pushing the swing again.

She was right, I don't own him. Maybe I was making this relationship such a big deal for nothing. I mean, it was for me, this was my first relationship with a guy. I always thought it would he scarier, but with Ryan there's nothing to be scared of, it's just Ryan. But I suppose since Ryan is gay this is just a normal casual relationship, I mean he's probably pretty experienced. Maybe I've got this all wrong. I need to talk to Ryan about this when I see him.

***

When it was finally time for Lydia to leave she gave me a hug goodbye. She did try to kiss me but I turned my head so she only kissed my cheek. Phew.

Eventually the Slate's left and the house was silent again. I still had no idea where Ryan was and I was starting to get a little worried.

When I heard a knock on the door I ran to it and hoped I'd find Ryan on the other side.

When I saw him I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me making him stumble.

"I was worried. Where have you been?" I asked.

"Oh sorry, I didn't mean to worry you, I just left to give you and Lydia some privacy." He admitted.

"Well get in here." I pulled him in and closed the front door.

"Why the rush?" He asked as u pulled him up the stairs.

"I need to talk to you."

Ryan POV

Oh my god this is it, isn't it? He's gonna break up with me and him and Lydia are gonna get married and-

"How much do you like me?" He asked as we sat on his bed.

"I- a lot..." I admitted.

"I know that your gay, and this probably isn't your first relationship but I've never had a real boyfriend, are we just casual?" He asked.

"What do you want us to be?" I asked.

"I want...I want... I want something real." He told me.

"Really?" I asked looking down at my hands.

"Why? D-do you not?" He asked a little panicked.

"No, no. Of course I do." I grabbed his hand.

"I just, I really like you, Ryan. And I want something that can last." He told me with a sigh.

"That's what I want too." I leaned in and kissed him.

***

When evening came me and Brendon went downstairs to make dinner, since his mom never did.

"What do you wanna eat?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"Whatever you have." I shrugged again.

"How about....Pasta?" He asked rummaging through the cabinet.

"Sure." I nodded.

"Let's get this party started." He laughed while starting to boil some hot water.

"Your such a dork." I laughed at him.

"I know." He smiled.

"So, what happened with Lydia?" I asked sitting on the counter.

"Well, she basically just tried to tell me the pros of marrying her." He shrugged.

"Oh." I nodded.

"Yeah, she really likes the idea of us getting married, I just don't think I feel the same." He shrugged.

"I should hope not." I joked.

"I like you, and only you." He blushed.

"Good." I smiled trying to hide the blush creeping up my neck.

A/N:

Sorry this chapter is short
(/.\)
^what is that I'm sorry



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