Open When...(Paul Walker Fanfiction)

Letter #4: Open When...You Need Me

Andrew beats his fist on the table. "Seriously? Just because you're having twins doesn't change anything! I'm sure the doctors and Meadow told you this, but you are going to die. God, Luke is almost three months! Neither he or Aubree will ever know you. Do you really want that?"

"Exactly! Think about it," Callie begins, sitting back down, "I understand that you want these kids, but the ones you have right now need you. Especially when it's not guaranteed that Paul will wake up."

"Don't say that," I snarl through my teeth. He will wake up. He will.

She rolls her eyes. "I'm just telling you how it is. You're being completely idiotic and I can see why Meadow won't stand by to watch. Do you know how badly pissed off Paul is going to be if he wakes up?"

"When," I correct her a second time. I'm very much still optimistic about Paul waking up, but nervous about how he's going to react to everything.

Andrew rubs his face with his left hand and grabs Callie's hand with his other. "Okay, we're not going to leave this house until we've convinced you to do the right thing." I open my mouth to interject, but he holds a finger up. "Please, let me finish. Sierra, you need to think about the kids you have now. They need you because their father is laying in a hospital bed fighting for his life. What if you were to miscarry and die within an hour? Your kids could possibly be orphans."

"Not to mention Paul would be devastated that he lost you while he was in the coma," Callie adds.

I know that they're right and I know that I should do the right thing to save everybody pain, but I will lose two children in the process. They are both looking at me for an answer, but I can't give them one. Today is already so tough, and I still have the meeting with Universal to go to. I nod softly, choosing my next words. "I need some time to think. This won't be our last discussion about this, but I have that meeting to go to soon." I look past them toward the clock on the wall, and I only have about an hour.

Both Callie and Andrew stand up as I do, but Callie is the one to speak. "We love you so much, and we want you to be here for a long time. Not only just us, but your kids, and more importantly, Paul does too. Do it for him. He's going to need you when he wakes up."

The smile that comes to my face from her choice of words is bright. Paul will wake up, we just all have to have faith in that. "I'm going to go say bye to the kids, and then I'll leave. The meeting shouldn't last too long, so I'll be home shortly after that." They nod and I turn to go to each of my kids' rooms.

Aubree is putting one of her dolls in her pink Barbie convertible that Paul had bought her. Just like her daddy, her smile lights up the entire room. I live for that smile. My heart wrenches at the thought of her growing up without me. I was thirty years old when my mother passed away, but my little girl is only two. She wouldn't have any memories of me if I died. How could I do that to her?

She catches sight of me in the doorway, her smile reaching her eyes. "Mommy, look!" Aubree pushes her Barbie convertible across the room and giggles. "Fast!" That right there is an indicator that she is indeed Paul's child. Her blue eyes find me again. "Is Daddy awake yet?"

Right when I thought I would be able to hold it together, a tear escapes and falls down my cheek. I quickly catch it, hoping that Aubree won't ask me why I'm crying. She doesn't, so I answer her. "No, princess. Daddy's not awake yet. I'm going to go see him in a couple of hours, but I will tell him that you love him, okay?"

"Okay," she replies, going back to playing with her dolls.

I walk out of her room, holding my hand over my mouth. Is there any other way around this? Is there any way where I get to keep the children I love inside of me and still be able to be around the ones I have now? My subconscious nags at me for the stupid thought. There's only one way I would be able to live, and that's an option I don't want to choose.